I Decided To Take A Dating Hiatus To Better My Life

I Decided To Take A Dating Hiatus To Better My Life

I've never been happier.

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I think there comes a time in every college girl's life where they decide they need to figure their lives out before they let someone else in. Mine came during my sophomore years of college. I spent most of my first semester with someone who was really bad for me in more ways than one, someone who inspired a lot of articles and therapy later on. I went into my second semester with the mentality that the only man I needed in my life was God because a life with God is more fulfilling than some sophomore year fling.

I'm the girl who has been promised marriage by so many boys I have honestly lost count. I've been given rings, shown houses and apartments we can get, and some guys have even tried planning future weddings. I am the girl most boys like to bring home to their parents because I'm kind, loving (sometimes too loving), and I have a bright future ahead of me. There always comes a time, however, when they decide that they want a good time rather than a long time and leave without warning. I, with the abandonment issues I have, end up lost and shattered in the process all for just caring. I decided after the last one that I needed to give myself time to work on myself, get my life set straight, and focus on God's everlasting love because I needed the time.

One night not too long ago, I was sitting in one of my sorority sister's rooms and I was pouring out my heart to some of my closest sisters and friends, explaining my need to be single for the year. One of my sisters set me straight and explained how this could be so great for me because the way she saw it, my only flaw was that I love with my whole heart and most guys are not ready for that kind of love just yet. This solidified everything for me because what she said was true.

I realized in that moment how every breakup I have been through all boiled down to the fact that I care a lot and that is something I have been raised to do. I was raised in a household of people who love with their whole hearts and never regret it. I have always learned to show the people you love that you love them because you never know what tomorrow holds. I want to take the time to work on being more intentional in my life and to enjoy my college years while they last. I realized that I am in no rush for another ring or another wedding board on Pinterest. I am ready right now to think of myself and focus on my needs. I am ready to build up my friendships and close relationships without strings attached. I am ready to start thinking of me and being a little selfish and it is the best decision of my life.

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Yes, My Boyfriend Is My Best Friend, Through Thick And Thin

I know he'll always be by my side.

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My boyfriend is my best friend.

Sure, I have other people I consider my best friend, but he is ultimately my number one. For the past year, he's been, my go-to guy. He's the first person I go to for everything. Advice, confidence, wisdom, a good laugh, a shoulder to cry on, he's there.

He can make me laugh harder than my favorite Friends episodes, and those crack me up even if I've seen them a million times. He's the goofiest guy I know and always makes me laugh, even when I'm mad at him.

He gives me the best advice when I'm in a tough situation, and always knows what to say.

When I'm feeling down about myself, school, my future, anything, he always gives me the confidence to believe in myself. He's my number one fan and supporter, and is constantly "juicing me up."

Being four years apart in age, he's always giving me wisdom and advice from things he's experienced in his life so I can learn and better myself. He's always trying to guide me in the right direction.

I'm an emotional mess and he's always there to comfort me.

He makes me feel special. No matter where we are or what we're doing, he manages to make me feel like the only girl in the world.

He loves me through the ups and downs, my quirks, my flaws and everything in between.

My boyfriend is my best friend and I'm OK with that.

So Malik, if you come across this, know that you are my number one. I appreciate all you do for me and am so thankful for you. You are my absolute best friend and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

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To The Girls Who Have Doubts About Their Worth

You can do so much more than you know!

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I won't say I'm a professional at this, but it is a frequent state of mind. I think that's just something we all go through. Whether it be during high school, college, or even later. There's a small part of your brain that whispers, "You don't deserve this" or "You're not good enough." And despite all of your accomplishments and how far you've come, you believe it. It's not your fault, it's none of ours, it's just something that makes us second guess everything about ourselves. It's not intentional, it just happens. Sometimes even without us knowing it. So, this article is for you all. I hope it helps.

This past semester has been the best one of my three years of college. I got the best grades, the highest GPA, and I actually enjoyed myself. I am in my major classes, and it really made me proud that I made the scary switch. I am in a much better place and I am so thankful. I am changing apartments next year and living in the same complex as three of my best friends. I am going to get a job and enjoy my senior year. So, despite having all of these amazing things in my life, there is still a sliver of doubt that I don't deserve it. Since I found my passion, I'm not allowed to have two fantastic internships or a summer job. Or time next semester to enjoy my college career. And it doesn't matter how many times my mom reassures me that I'm doing great or my friends tell me that this is the happiest they've seen me, I still have this doubt.

My advice for dealing with the negative thoughts is this: tune them out. Say f*** it, and just do your thing.

All you can do is better yourself and your future. Take risks and do something that you actually enjoy. I didn't realize how much I hated business until I switched to journalism. Even a small change like that has really turned my entire life around. I have met so many fun and awesome people that I now call my friends because of this switch. It's OK to be nervous but take that leap of faith. Trust yourself. You are capable of so much more than you let yourself believe. As long as you are safe and careful, make things happen. Apply for that job. Get that tattoo. Do what makes you happy. Because that's all any of us want. We all want to be happy, and if you can do that, you can do anything.

Yes, putting yourself out into the world is super scary. But it's worth it when it matters and it's something you want to do. You are worth so much more than you are aware of, and that stupid, little voice in the back of your head should be your motivation. It should push you to become the best version of yourself you can be. Don't let it hold you back, let it push you forward. You don't want to miss out on awesome opportunities because of that stupid voice, right? Right! So, just tell that voice, "Give it your best shot" because you just use that voice to motivate yourself to do the best you can. Nothing should hold you back, even that little voice, because, you can move mountains and change the world.

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