I Decided To Take A Dating Hiatus To Better My Life

I Decided To Take A Dating Hiatus To Better My Life

I've never been happier.

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I think there comes a time in every college girl's life where they decide they need to figure their lives out before they let someone else in. Mine came during my sophomore years of college. I spent most of my first semester with someone who was really bad for me in more ways than one, someone who inspired a lot of articles and therapy later on. I went into my second semester with the mentality that the only man I needed in my life was God because a life with God is more fulfilling than some sophomore year fling.

I'm the girl who has been promised marriage by so many boys I have honestly lost count. I've been given rings, shown houses and apartments we can get, and some guys have even tried planning future weddings. I am the girl most boys like to bring home to their parents because I'm kind, loving (sometimes too loving), and I have a bright future ahead of me. There always comes a time, however, when they decide that they want a good time rather than a long time and leave without warning. I, with the abandonment issues I have, end up lost and shattered in the process all for just caring. I decided after the last one that I needed to give myself time to work on myself, get my life set straight, and focus on God's everlasting love because I needed the time.

One night not too long ago, I was sitting in one of my sorority sister's rooms and I was pouring out my heart to some of my closest sisters and friends, explaining my need to be single for the year. One of my sisters set me straight and explained how this could be so great for me because the way she saw it, my only flaw was that I love with my whole heart and most guys are not ready for that kind of love just yet. This solidified everything for me because what she said was true.

I realized in that moment how every breakup I have been through all boiled down to the fact that I care a lot and that is something I have been raised to do. I was raised in a household of people who love with their whole hearts and never regret it. I have always learned to show the people you love that you love them because you never know what tomorrow holds. I want to take the time to work on being more intentional in my life and to enjoy my college years while they last. I realized that I am in no rush for another ring or another wedding board on Pinterest. I am ready right now to think of myself and focus on my needs. I am ready to build up my friendships and close relationships without strings attached. I am ready to start thinking of me and being a little selfish and it is the best decision of my life.

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To The Girl Who's Still Crying Over the Guy She Never Dated

We've all been there, you never really dated but you might as well have...
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We’ve all been there. Every single one of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have been where you are; so let me just say, you’re not alone. No matter if your friends are the best people in the world, I’m sure they’ve had enough of your sadness over a boy who you were never really with. But that’s what’s scary, it feels like you were together. No matter the amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, no matter what, you had enough time to gain feelings for another person and be vulnerable; and that in itself is a tough pill to swallow. Now, the one person you thought would never hurt you, did just what they promised they wouldn’t do, and now you’re left putting the pieces of your life back together.

Enough of the sappy stuff. Let me tell you that life goes on. Whether over a boy, or a grade, or whatever it is, I have always told my friends, “You’re going to make it to tomorrow.” And although it seems like the hardest feat you’ve ever endured, you are going to make it to tomorrow. And then, you’re going to make it to the next day. So it may seem that the day you end things with the boy you thought you were going to be with, is the worst day in the world, you are going to make it to tomorrow.

But even though you are going to make it to tomorrow, that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t suck. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be afraid or feel weird going to the bar you once loved, or the restaurant you guys would go to a lot, or the most common place to study on campus, in fear of seeing him. All of those feelings of uncertainty are totally normal, and in time, it will fade.

My friend once told me, this too shall pass.

So while you’re sad, or crying, or complaining about this boy, your friends might be telling you, “Get over it, you were never really together.” But I promise, it may take a while (seemingly forever), and as hard as it may be to believe right now, you will make it to tomorrow, and this too shall pass. Remember that.

With love from,

The girl who knows what it's like to have to get over the boy she never dated

Cover Image Credit: onehdwallpaper

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You Don't Need A 'Bikini Body' To Fully Love Yourself This Summer

You don't need to be stick-thin to feel good about your body.

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One of my favorite quotes of all time is, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Want to know why? Because it's true.

I could look in the mirror one day and feel totally confident about myself. Then I'll see a post on Instagram of some beautiful girl, feel awful, and wonder why I don't look like that. But there's a reason I don't look like that — because I'm me, not them.

The fact of the matter is that we need to love ourselves for who we are. We need to stop comparing our beauty to that of others. We are all our own people and we should feel confident in our beauty.

Bikini season is a major source of struggle for me and many others. Everyone is lounging on the beach in bikinis and you feel like you just want to hide under your towel. Every other photo on your social media is a super skinny girl from high school showing off her body. You will NEVER see a photo of me in a bikini on social media because I'm simply not comfortable in my body enough to show it off like that. I have always wished that I was, but at the same time, that's not who I am.

You don't need to be stick thin to feel good about your body. Every body is beautiful, and we need to embrace that. If we constantly look to others as a source of comparison, we will literally never be happy in our own skin.

Bikini season is tough as it is, don't make it tougher on yourself by allowing your mind to take over. Enjoy your spring break, enjoy your summer, enjoy your life. You deserve it. You deserve happiness.

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