I know I always write about how human interaction is disintegrating, but it’s something that keeps getting pushed further and further under the rug. We are becoming so out of touch with creating emotional bondage between others and ourselves.
The other day, my friend and I were talking about dating apps like Tinder. She was telling me how she deleted the app because she felt violated every time her phone went off with a notification. I’m positive she’s not the only one who feels that way, yet honestly, too many people put up with this lazy, incompetent excuse for a “dating culture.”
Because of these apps, we are not only lowering our standards, but our social skills are deteriorating. What happened to simply walking up to somebody and talking to them? Why has hiding behind a screen become encouraged in a culture that’s supposed to be the opposite, like stepping out from behind your societal “mask”? We have allowed ourselves to succumb to this mutual fear of what we think people think, and are losing the best thing this life has to offer: meaningful contact.
I get it. This platform literally only requires the unconscious swipe of a finger, and talking to someone in real life takes, well, time, energy, and thinking. Swiping right or left based on one’s appearance is of the shadiest concepts I’ve ever come to witness, yet we’re sitting back and acting like it’s “modern dating”?
We’ve put our faith in relationships into an app instead of into our own hands, and we need to do something about it. You really think a cute picture of you basically dislocating your hip and a 2 sentence bio is going to give the world a glimpse of the “real you,” let alone help you find the “love of your life”? Think again.
When was the last time you genuinely got to know somebody without clicking into and stalking one of their several social media accounts? We are losing friends and gaining followers. Nowadays, I don’t see any real foundation in relationships, I see self-absorbed people creating “picture perfect” profiles looking to connect through empty ‘likes.’ Is that really how you want your son or daughter or be treated, or how to treat others? Is that seriously how you want our growing generations to become, a coward behind a screen?
You wanna get to know somebody? Spend some damn time with them without hunching over your screen. Engage in deep intellectual conversations about your curiosities in this life. Ask them what they’re most scared of. Take notice of their good and bad habits, their insecurities, and their quirks. Actually listen to them. Help them grow and treat them as fellow human beings. Immerse yourself in that person because you genuinely care, not because it makes you feel better about yourself. Be an authentic person.
If you’re going use these apps at least paint yourself as a human being instead of some mannequin. And strike up respectful, meaningful conversation, about wanting to feel something other than just sex. We toy with peoples emotions way too casually. We're conditioned to suppress ourselves because "modern dating" says ignorance and disrespect is cool.
Ever since we were younger we've been told when a guy is mean to you, don’t worry, it actually means he likes you. What is that!? If anyone truly likes you and themselves for that matter, they’ll treat you with the utmost respect. These apps would and could be super helpful to society and communication as a whole if we just learned how to use them ethically and correctly.
A friendship or relationship is what brings out one of the deepest bonds human emotion intellect ever gets to experience. Without it, there would be no love, and soon there will be none left if we allow this gap to widen between all of us. I know that deep down each of us is just as scared as the other when it comes to human interaction. We’re scared of what people think, so much to the point that we’re willing to give up what we truly want.
We are all such flawed individuals, always allowing little differences in character to drive us further and further apart, instead of learning how to grow closer and closer together through understanding. Understanding doesn’t necessarily mean truly seeing yourself in one’s shoes, because sometimes we can’t do that. Understanding sometimes means to let what is be, to accept things and people for what they are, and to be present for them in their times of feeling lost and confused in this life. Either that, or we nitpick each other until there’s nothing left. The choice is ours.
