It's the middle of the week, and your phone goes off at specifically 5:24 a.m. for a 5:45 practice. There isn't anything you would rather have than even one more hour of sleep after staying up late to finish your hours of homework, and just the thought of jumping into a freezing cold pool makes you want to cry. You get to practice, work your butt off for a couple hours before most people even wake up for the day. You eat breakfast and head back to bed for a small nap before class, and all of this is before 8:30 a.m. Some days, you wonder if it's all worth it, if you're really getting better, if it's making you a better person.
One of my favorite quotes was said by Mia Hamm, "Somewhere behind the athlete you've become and the hours of practice and the coaches who have pushed you is a little girl who fell in love with the sport and never looked back... play for her."
When the days get tough and that voice in my head is screaming "YOU CAN'T DO IT", I think of this little girl watching the older kids at swim practice. I think of this little girl wishing and hoping that one day she can be like them, and thinking she can do whatever it takes to get there. She gives me the push to finish a hard set or practice, to lift more to get stronger, to wake up knowing every day presents a new challenge, but there's no reason why I can't handle it.
Swimming is the biggest love/ hate relationship I have, and it confuses so many people. I get on a consistent basis, "If you hate it so much, why don't you just quit?" In my head, I can't imagine not swimming. I don't want to know what it's like to go to breakfast in the morning with my hair frozen o my head. I don't want to know what it's like not having people walk into my room and say, "Wow, it really smells like chlorine in here." I don't want to know what it's like to not have this love/hate relationship. At the end of the day, swimming will always be there. To be alone with your thoughts while doing something you love is truly awesome. Sure, finishing practice before the sun is up sucks sometimes. Wishing for a little extra sleep is truly just a wish, and not to mention being sore and just flat tired all the time is part of the gig. However, I wouldn't trade anything for the memories I make with my team mates. I wouldn't trade looking at the scoreboard of the last meet of the season and seeing how your hard work has paid off. I wouldn't trade anything for all of the amazing things swimming has brought me, including all the people that have pushed and motivated me along the way. To continue swimming in college has been the best decision of my life, and I can say I'm still "playing for her."
