Meet Ophelia, the cuddle entrepreneur. Her name isn’t really Ophelia, but she’s asked me to use it for privacy’s sake. Her business? Sweet and Snug. Her services are to cuddle those who need physical affection and don’t have other options for it. But it’s not just about the physical touch -- it’s emotional connection and support, as well.

This isn’t a new idea. The woman who pioneered it in the United States is Samantha Hess of Portland, Oregon. Her business, Cuddle Up To Me, gained recognition in local news in 2013. She said in 2014 that she had gotten 10,000 email inquiries, which I’m certain has gone up since then. Seems there’s a high demand for it. While this business is new to Bellingham, Ophelia says there’s certainly an audience for it.

“When I first heard about the cuddle business, I remember thinking, this is kind of weird. But, it made sense…” Ophelia says in an age where our interactions with others are becoming more and more digital, it’s easy to forget about the need for touch.

“I think Samantha Hess has touched upon something super vital that oftentimes we forget, and it’s that touch is essential for a lot of people. It’s essential for folks to feel cared for, seen, and to feel mentally well. And touch taps into a significant part of how we have intimacy with other people, and how that intimacy really deepens our relationships and connections with people, which is really, really important and vital – especially when you see the increasing percentage of people who are reporting they feel lonely, or misunderstood, or like they don’t have anyone to talk to. And folks who have experienced trauma as well, and how that stresses their ability to connect with other people on a physical level -- and I don’t mean on a sexual level -- just, basic touch, and how essential it is for us to be able to negotiate those boundaries.”

Ophelia says that her business is absolutely not sexual in nature, and stresses the importance of keeping it platonic. So much so that she has clients sign a contract before each session that it will stay platonic and safe for both parties, and the session will be terminated without a refund if a client oversteps her boundaries.

"Intimacy is mental, emotional, and physical as well, but innocent in a way; and it's really about wanting to feel understood and seen."

“More recently, I got a push to open my own business because, at the moment, I’ve been noticing how disaffected folks feel from one another. There’s this yearning -- you see an increased number of folks on dating sites -- Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish -- and a lot of the people on the sites aren’t even asking for sex. And oftentimes, when they are, the verbage clearly indicates something further than that, and that “further” is a deep significant connection to another person; and it can be hard to make that distinction. Intimacy is mental, emotional, and physical as well, but innocent in a way; and it’s really about wanting to feel understood and seen without a lot of the complications of trying to navigate the dynamics of sexual dynamics and sexual politics.”

Safety and boundaries are a main concern for her. “I offer physical and emotional intimacy and touch through the boundaries clients set themselves. Prior to meeting clients, I like to ask them what kind of parameters of touch are OK with them. Some want minimal touch, and want to just be in the same room as another person. And so if it’s minimal touch, it’ll be a hand on the elbow, a hand on the shoulder, or sitting side by side while reading or something. That’s one level. And then there’s full contact cuddling, like you can spoon or do 'through the woods,' just different cuddle positions. I use a book called “The Cuddle Sutra,” and it documents different cuddle positions and different forms of contact, and it helps to find out what positions are beneficial if your body has certain pains. So I’ve been learning and really studying.”

“I think the big thing for Sweet and Snug is to change the culture we have around intimacy and touch and working to support people to make them feel safe and cared for."

But in an age where physical intimacy isn't valued, would it be strange to cuddle up to a stranger?

“I like to start out full-contact sessions with hand holding, really getting each other used to our forms of contact. And we’ll talk, and really get to know one another before we get to full-contact cuddling, because cuddling with a stranger can be uncomfortable for some people. Really making sure our dynamic is clear from the beginning and making sure it’s comfortable and safe before moving on to more advanced positions. And I like to serve them tea, and sometimes I’ll make desserts because I love sweets!” She does both out-calls and in-calls, but if there her in-calls include a comfy cuddle nest. Check it out.

“We can cuddle and talk, or cuddle in silence -- whichever my clients prefer.”

So what is the main goal for Sweet and Snug?

“I think the big thing for Sweet and Snug is to change the culture we have around intimacy and touch and working to support people to make them feel safe and cared for -- all the things that are becoming diminished in a culture where it’s becoming increasingly more cool to be cold. That’s not OK. People are feeling alienated. I really, really love people, even when they’re are at their worst. And I still want to be a source of comfort for people, and help them negotiate their relationships outside of our appointment. I try to help them recognize and communicate their boundaries, so they can translate that to their everyday interactions with other people -- and that is so critical to feeling mentally well and physically safe with people, when you know you have this power.”

"You have to come at it from a place of empathy and emotional intelligence to make sure that you're supporting and not harming."

There are some challenges with starting a new business, though.

"Getting the word out can be hard. It is kind of a niche industry, even though it's gotten a lot of publicity since Samantha Hess has been in the news so much. So finding the right venue can be challenging. I've been on Craigslist, Tinder, OkCupid, and I've actually gotten a couple clients off Tinder. It can also be hard to negotiate the boundaries, because it is a professional relationship. The ending of sessions can be kind of hard for the client, and I notice that, so I always try to take time leaving, checking in with them, and a few hours later I'll send them a message to make sure that the after of the session is still good for them."

She has a message for those looking to get into the cuddling business.

"We have a responsibility to one another. I've seen an increasing number of professional cuddlers, but folks without the training or coming into it with the wrong mindset. I understand where people are coming from, especially with the job market for young people right now, but if you're going to pursue this, you have to put in the work. You have to come at it from a place of empathy and emotional intelligence to make sure that you're supporting and not harming. People are coming to you with their vulnerability and you do have a responsibility in a dynamic with a skewed power differential to abide by a code of ethics."

"The most rewarding thing is when customers at the end of the session say, 'I feel really good, I feel really light.' And they have an upturn to their day."

Clients from all walks of life go to see her. "I think my youngest client is 21 and my oldest one is 63. And it's varied by gender as well."

"The most rewarding thing is when customers at the end of the session say, "I feel really good, I feel really light." And they have an upturn to their day. This is not a cure, by any means. I've had people supplement cuddling with therapy, because you can't cuddle your therapist! Having folks cry during sessions has been an honor, to be trusted in that way. For a moment, at least, I can support someone, and they can feel understood and not judged. There's such a big stigma with mental health, where folks feel like they can't talk about how they're feeling, that they're burdening their loved ones. But having someone who you're 10 degrees separated, who you're able to talk with, can be really freeing because you don't have to worry that you're stressing out your loved ones. That's what I'm here for."

To those who are curious?

"If you're curious, come give it a try. I'm not expecting it to work for everyone. I'm not a genie, I'm not a cure-all. But folks who are willing to come in with an open heart and an open curiosity, I am so excited to meet them. I will try to make this as not-weird as I possibly can make a kinda-weird job. Come over and have some tea, let's eat some cookies! I love seeing the varied ways people experience life, and that we can come together and have mutual care and understanding. I'm looking forward to meeting more people and making more connections."

"Bellingham is a good place to have a cuddling business. I think it's been needing it, it's been asking for it, and I'm happy with starting one here."

We're happy, too, Ophelia.

She's got a 25 percent discount for seniors, veterans, and students.

What do you have to lose?