“A person cannot teach another person directly; a person can only facilitate another's learning,”-Carl Rogers, Client-Centered Therapy, Its Current Practice, Implications, and Theory.

I could never take Ryan Gosling’s last name seriously because of how many times I have read and watched Charlotte’s Web, I reflected, looking at the new movie tie-in edition of The Trumpet of the Swan on display at the library. And Now I really can’t take his last name seriously because he is doing the voice in The Trumpet of the Swan. It’s from the director of La La Land so it will probably be up for awards. Giselle did a discussion of the book that night. She talked about how it was, in a way, a more progressive version of The Ugly Duckling.

“What is sad about The Ugly Duckling for me is that all of the problems are solved by him changing into a swan,” I said at the discussion. “I would have liked to see him accept himself for who he was before transforming into a beautiful swan.”

“It is sad,” said Giselle. The saddest part is that I don’t think Hans Christian Anderson was probably not intending to give that message. If anything, I think that he was trying to strike up the most sorrow in the reader and he probably thought that the best way to do that was to not have the duck make any friends until he transformed into a swan. That way he can illustrate how judgmental and prejudiced human beings are and teach young children not to judge others by their appearances. Thus, both versions of the Ugly Duckling, the real version and our idealized version influence individuals to have empathy for those who are different from us.”

The next day I saw a boy with brown skin, a kufi hat and a cleft lip. A group of boys took his kufi off and laughed. One of them put his hat on.

“Give me my hat back!” the boy said.

My heart sank seeing that. Plus, after being part of a discussion about The Ugly Duckling, I knew I had to intervene.

“Hey, that’s not nice,” I said to the group of boys, taking the kufi away and giving it back to the other boy. “And please be quiet. We are in a library.”

Fearing getting in trouble, they quickly left. I noticed the boy with the kufi was crying, so I sat at the table with him. I held his hand. “I’m sorry they said those things to you,” I said.

The boy pulled his hand away. “Leave me alone,” he replied in tears and left the table.

Maybe I shouldn’t have intervened, I reflected. Perhaps trying to help bullied kids only reminds them of the fact that they were bullied. Or maybe they think that since one group of people made fun of them that they have no hope at all with making friends. Either way, it is still really sad. I thought about other characters in literature who were discriminated against for their appearance like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and Frankenstein’s monster. I wondered how the narratives would be different if they had friends that accepted them for who they are. Would the stories end happily or still end tragically? I had to find out, so I went to Libraria after work.

I looked really hard for characters being judged for their appearances. I didn’t search for the Ugly Duckling because I figured that since there would be many ponds, lakes, and rivers in Libraria, it would be hard to find him. So I walked to the Notre Dame Cathedral.

“May I please go up to where the bells are rung?” I asked. “I would like to speak to the hunchback.”

“Sorry, only the clergy or the king’s staff can go up there,” the church guard said.

I then went to the opera theater hoping to meet the phantom.

“No money, no ticket,” the usher said.

I then went to a Walden Pond to relax. Right when I took out my word search book, I saw the Ugly Duckling. He was crying as the other ducks swam away from him.

I quickly ran to the pond. I put my palms together and put them out hoping that the Ugly Duckling would fit, but he continued to swim away.

“Hey!” I cried. I didn’t want to call him the “Ugly Duckling” because I knew that would hurt his feelings, so I cried out, “Hey, Lonely Duckling!”

The Ugly Duckling turned around. “What do you want?” he asked.

“I want to be your friend.”

“No you don’t. I’m ugly.”

Is this a habit of individuals with low self-esteem? I asked myself. Thinking that because one person or group doesn’t want to be his or her friend that the rest of the world doesn’t either?

“Yes I do,” I said, enunciating each word.

The Ugly Duckling was about to swim away.

“Please,” I said. “I want a friend too.”

The Ugly Duckling got out of the water. “What do you want to do?” he asked.

“Would you like to take a walk in the grass?” I asked.

“Sure.”

We breathed in the fresh air and looked at the clouds and flowers. I took some cherries off of a bush and gave them to the duckling to eat. I followed him back to the pond and I watched him do his swimming tricks.

“Great job,” I complemented. I looked at my phone clock. “Listen, I have to go now, but it was nice spending the day with you.”

“You’re not going to abandon me forever are you?” asked the Ugly Duckling.

“No, of course not. Why do you ask that?”

“Because the other ducks did. And so did my parents.”

“Well I am not the other ducks. Friends do not always have to be with each other 24/7 you know.”

“I don’t want to be lonely.”

“I know you don’t want to be lonely,” I said, gently touching the duckling’s fur, “but I promise I will come back.”

The Ugly Duckling probably sees me as too good to be true, I reflected. He must find it hard to believe that anybody would want to be friends with him. Probably because he is so used to the other ducks not wanting to be friends with him.

As I walked away I heard the Ugly Duckling cry, “Nobody likes me! Nobody wants to be my friend.”

I turned around. I couldn’t stress it more. “I am your friend. Don’t worry, I will come back.”

“I know you’re my friend but I want to have lots of friends like the other ducks.”

“Sometimes one really good friend is good enough. Besides, I’m going to help you make friends. I’m gonna help you live a happier life.”

“How?”

I hesitated. “Because…..I will be your therapist.” I couldn’t come up with a better response.

“What’s a therapist?”

“A therapist is…..someone who understands thoughts and emotions and helps people overcome their problems.”

“Ohhh.”
“So we will meet once a week and discuss how you are feeling, ways to cope with your stress, and strategies you can use in order to make friends.”

“Ok good.”

When I got back to the library I knew I had to do my psychology research. I knew that Freud’s studies were not applicable to the Ugly Duckling, so I got books by the humanistic psychologists, Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers. I read about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and theory of self-actualization. I also read about Rogers’ nineteen propositions, client-centered therapy, and his idea of the fully-functioning person. According to Rogers, self-actualization is achieved when an individual’s ideal-self is equivalent to their real behavior a.k.a. Self-image. Clearly the Ugly Duckling’s ideal self does not match up with his self-image. But then I started thinking, Does the Ugly Duckling really want to be beautiful or does he just want to be valued? Would the Ugly Duckling want to be beautiful even if the other ducks were friends with him? It seems like the Ugly Duckling being rejected by the other ducks is exactly why he wants beauty in the first place. Carl Rogers appealed to me the most. He wasn’t so negative like Freud. Rogers said that when practicing client-centered therapy, the therapist should be his or her genuine self and not create conditions for acceptance such as “I will value you if you behave this way.” He also stressed not to make the client feel bad about his or herself. I watched the video of his famous session with Gloria.

And thus I began my first session with the Ugly Duckling. I tried to dress as professionally as I could. We held our sessions in an old abandoned cottage not too far from Walden Pond. When the Ugly Duckling entered, I shook his wing before we sat down in our seats.

“I understand that this is your first time in therapy,” I began, “so tell me some stuff about yourself.”

“Well, I’m ugly,” the Ugly Duckling responded.

“Don’t call yourself that. Now, did you always see yourself as ugly?”

“What do you mean?”

“When did you start judging yourself as ugly?”

“Well, I didn’t know that I was ugly until the other ducks said I was ugly.”

“What did you think of yourself before the other ducks called you ugly? Did you think you were attractive?”

“I didn’t really have an opinion of myself.”

“So basically your self-image formed based on other’s perceptions.”

The Ugly Duckling nodded.

“Their opinions are not true. I think you are an adorable little duckling.”

“I know, but majority rules.”

“Not always. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Sometimes there are movies or books that a lot of people like but I’m not crazy about and sometimes there are movies and books I like that a lot of other people don’t like.”

“That’s different.”

“Not entirely. Not everyone sees the world the same way.”

The Ugly Duckling looked at the floor.

“What do you like about yourself?”

“Not my appearance.”

I started getting annoyed at the Ugly Duckling while still feeling bad for him at the same time. I didn’t want to make my feelings of annoyance visible being that I didn’t want to hurt the poor Ugly Duckling’s feelings, yet I didn’t want to put on a facade because Carl Rogers warned against that. “I have a better question. What do you like to do for fun? What activity makes you enjoy yourself?”

“I like to swim.”

“What do you like about swimming?”

“I like the feel of water. It is good exercise, and I like to do tricks.”

“Now, did you learn the tricks on your own or did the other ducks teach you?”

“Some I learned from watching the other ducks and others I’ve made on my own.”

“Interesting.”

“Now when you make them, do you think of them as you do it or do they just come naturally?”

“Most come naturally. But some tricks I’ve made are a combo of what I saw from the other ducks and my own moves.”

After our session, I followed the Ugly Duckling to the pond and watched him do his tricks. They looked like tricks you’d see in the olympics.

“I had a really nice meeting with you,” I told the Ugly Duckling.

The Ugly Duckling smiled beautifully. “See you next time.”

The following week, we had our second session.

“How has swimming been?” I asked.

“Fun.”

“So tell me, in general, how are things going?”

“Still haven’t got friends.”

“You have me.”

“I know, but I meant besides you.”

I lowered my eyebrows. “Did you make any effort to talk to the other ducks?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t see the point. If they made fun of me and called me ugly, what’s the point of trying to be friends with them?”

“I didn’t ask you if you tried making friends with the ducks who called you ugly. I asked if you tried making friends with newer ducks.”

“Like I said, I didn’t bother talking to them.”

“Well, do you think that the other ducks might be different from the ones who called you names?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, maybe the other ducks don’t see beauty in the way that the ducks who called you names do. Or maybe they are younger ducks who just recently hatched like a day or two ago and don’t really have an understanding of beauty standards yet.”

“I’ll consider it.”

And then we had our third session.

“Did you talk to any other ducklings yet?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I was scared.”

“Describe how trying to talk to them felt.”

“Well, I swam over to them, but when I finally got close to them I turned around. I was afraid they wouldn’t talk to me or…..call me names.”

I didn’t know what else to say, yet I did not want to put on a facade by telling lies white as swan feathers just to make the Ugly Duckling feel better. “There’s no harm in trying.”

“But what if they call me names?”

I paused. “Suppose they do-”
The Ugly Duckling started to cry.

“No, please don’t cry,” I said, gently stroking his soft feathers. “Let me finish what I had to say.” I took a deep breath and paused to collect my thoughts for a second. “I’m not saying that you’re not going to ever make any more friends besides me, but I think it is time for you to be grateful for what you have already.” That didn’t come out exactly the way I wanted.

“How can I be? “I’m ugly.”

“I know I’ve probably asked you this before, but I think I should ask this again, would you see yourself as ugly if other people thought you were beautiful?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Listen, back to what I was saying, I think you should focus on what you do like about yourself. Like your swim tricks. Or your relationship with me. And you know, you don’t always have to be around people 24/7 in order to be happy. It’s good and important to have some quality time for yourself. Besides, you can’t love others until you love yourself.”

“But isn’t loving yourself selfish?”

“Not always. It is good to have respect for yourself. But when you put your needs over others and not think about their emotions, that’s selfish.”

“Then why do people call those who are in love with themselves selfish?”

“You mean narcissistic?”

“Narcistic?”

“No. narcissistic. A lot of narcissistic people are secretly insecure meaning that they brag about themselves to hide the qualities about themselves they don’t like.”

“Oh ok.”

“Ever think that the ducks that called you ugly are secretly insecure?”

“What would they be insecure about? They are beautiful.”

“Maybe they aren’t good swimmers as they want to be. Maybe they haven’t mastered flying yet. Maybe they don’t like their voices.”

“Maybe.”

“Sometimes people project their insecurities onto others.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when people don’t like themselves, they say mean things to other people so that they can feel superior and better.”

“You think that the other ducks are doing that?”

“Possibly. Now, I think you are thinking too hard about trying to make friends and I think it’s your anxiety that prevents you.”

“You think so?”

“I do. That’s why you swam away when trying to talk to the other ducks right?”

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes it takes time to make friends. You can’t just make friends at the snap of a finger. You know, it takes time to get to know others.”

“So you’re telling me not to make an effort to make friends?”

“No, not at all. I am just saying that you’re getting too anxious about it.”

“You don’t think I can make friends!”

“No! Please don’t assume that!”

“You said you were gonna help me overcome my problems! And you didn’t! You lied to me!”

The Ugly Duckling left the room.

“Please come back!” I called for him. But he didn’t return. I failed him, I reflected. I started to cry. I’m a horrible therapist. I thought I could be like Carl Rogers but I was wrong.

Although the Ugly Duckling left me at the previous session and didn’t attend the, I went to the abandoned cottage where we had our sessions to see if he would come back. I didn’t see him. The Ugly Duckling arrived right at the time when our session would be almost over.

“Oh..uh...hi...I didn’t know you were coming,” I said.

“Hey,” the Ugly Duckling said.

“So….how are you?”

“I got a job.”

“You did? That’s wonderful! Where?”

“A castle.”

“Nice. What are you going to do there?”

“Custodial work and catering.”

I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” the duckling said softly. “But I have some bad news.”

“What?”

“Because of my busy work schedule, I won’t be able to see you anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry about?”

“That….that you’re so busy.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

“So….tell me….are you excited about the job?”

“Yeah. It will be a good way to reinvent myself and make friends, you know. At least I hope.”

“I think it will.” I paused. “Let’s keep in touch.”

“Okay. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

We said our goodbyes. As I left Libraria that day, I wondered why the Ugly Duckling would get a job at the king’s castle. Maybe he felt useless and that having a job would provide him with a purpose in life. Or maybe he was sick of me and didn’t want to see me in therapy anymore.

Several weeks to a month or two passed. I decided not to go to Walden Pond after my library shifts. I figured he wouldn’t be there. One day while talking a walk in the woods of Libraria, a messenger bird approached me and gave me a note. It was an invitation. It read:

YOU ARE INVITED TO THE LBAC (Look Beyond Appearances Club) CREATURE CONVENTION, a gathering of individuals negatively judged for their appearances at WALDEN POND. Come to discuss the importance of self-respect and accepting each other’s differences.

So I went to the convention. There were so many characters: Frankenstein’s Creature, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, the Beast from Beauty and the Beast, the Phantom of the Opera, Caliban from The Tempest, the old hag from The Wife of Bath, giants and dwarves from Norse mythology, and the ogre from The Tale of Tales. Louis from The Trumpet of the Swan played the music for the convention. I watched the Ugly Duckling walk onto the podium and give a speech.

“A wise woman once told me to love yourself first,” the Ugly Duckling began. “Yes, we have been rejected by potential friends and unrequited love interests. Yes we have been abandoned by caregivers. But constantly thinking about those hurts is not going to do anything to make it better. A while ago, I got a job working at a king’s castle. When his son got married, we went to the Notre Dame church and as a caterer to the king, I got a pass to go upstairs and that’s when I met the Hunchback and his gargoyles. And together we set up the Look Beyond Appearances Club. I met some amazing fellows who shared their stories with me. After sharing each other’s stories, we realized that we have unique talents. The Creature and the Ogre are both really good at building and making campfires. Louis and the Phantom of the Opera are musically gifted. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is also musically talented when he rings the bell but he’s also exceptional at making little figurines of the people he sees looking out from the cathedral window. I now present artwork by the Hunchback.”

I took pictures of the Hunchback’s figurines. Afterwards, the Ugly Duckling performed a swimming routine. He performed tricks reminiscent of the acrobats of Cirque du Soleil. In the middle of the performance, I heard voices call. I turned around. It was two adult ducks.

“Landon!” they called.

I looked around for other ducks, but I didn’t see any except for the Ugly Duckling on the podium.

“Landon!” the adult ducks called again. “Landon, it’s us! Your parents.”

The Ugly Duckling, or Landon, looked down from the podium and saw his parents. He shed a tear and ran down to hug them. The club members went “awww” and clapped.

“We’ve been looking for you for so long,” his father said.

“I thought you abandoned me,” said Landon.

“Why would we abandon you?” asked his mother.

“Well, the other ducks called me ugly.”

“You’re not ugly. You are such a handsome duckling. And we are so proud of you.”

“For what?”

“For creating a club on your own and developing great swimming skills.”

“Thank you.”

“Who took care of you all this time?”

“I did,” I said.

“We thank you very much,” said Landon’s father.

Landon was overjoyed to see his parents again. Landon and his parents gave each other another group hug, and during that hug, sparkles surrounded Landon and he transformed into a swan just like the original story. The club members were shocked by this.

“Landon, you’re a swan,” his father said in shock.

“What do you mean?”

“Look at yourself, you’re a beautiful swan,” said his mother.

Landon went to the nearest puddle to look at himself. He screeched and ran away. His parents and I followed him. He was behind a tree crying.

“Why are you crying, sweetheart?” his mother asked.

“Go away,” Landon retorted.

“Don’t speak to your mother like that,” said his father.

“Landon, what is there to cry about?” I asked. “You have so many friends and you’re a great swimmer.”

“Besides, you are too handsome to cry,” his mother added.

“I don’t want to lose my friends,” said Landon.

“Why would you lose them?” I asked.

“The club is for people judged negatively for their appearance,” Landon explained. “What’s the point of me being in the club now?”

“Landon, your friends rejecting you because you’re handsome would be the same as your friends rejecting you because you are ugly,” I said.

Landon walked slowly back to the pond. I thought he was going to stare at his reflection again, but instead he drank and wet his face down for a few minutes to refresh himself.

“What are you doing” the Hunchback asked. “Are you coming back?”

“I’m ready,” said Landon.

Landon then introduced a performance by the Phantom of the Opera. The Phantom sang while Louis played his trumpet in the background.

One day later after I got back to my dimension, I decided to see the new Trumpet of the Swan adaptation before the Oscars and before it went out of theatres. At the theatre, I saw the boy with the kufi from the library with his parents. I waved to him. He didn’t wave back, so I continued walking. But then I heard someone say “excuse me.” It was the mother of the boy with the kufi.

“I just wanted to say thank you for returning his cap,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” I said. I turned my attention to the boy with the kufi. “Did you like the movie?”

“Yes,” he nodded.

And the next day I saw him at the library doing homework.

“Hello,” I said.

“Hi,” he said, looking up from his book.

“Do you need any help with your homework?” I asked.

“No, I’m fine,” he replied. “Thank you, though.”