Society has created an image of how a typical family looks. Mom, dad, son, daughter, and a family pet. For many years my family looked very similar to that stereotypical image. We had my mom, dad, sister, myself and our dog, Peaches (not the smartest, but still pretty cute). I grew up in a nice neighborhood, attended school in one of the best districts in Georgia, and rocked it out on the soccer field and in the gymnastic studio for many years. From the outside looking it, I had a great and normal life.
In the early 2000’s my parents sat my sister and I down in the living room and told us they were getting divorced. You would think that my world would come crashing down, but to be honest, I didn’t really understand the impact of divorce at that time. I tried to stick to my older sister for support, but we took the divorce differently. Probably because she understood the changes that were to come.
My parent's divorce did not go at the speed you see with celebrity divorces. Those five day divorces don’t sound real or make sense to me. Their divorce and the custody battle lasted 3 very long and confusing years, but as odd as it sounds I wouldn’t change the fact that my parents split up. Through those troublesome years, I learned a great deal about my parents and myself. My relationship with my mother suffered and we are still working to mend it, but that takes time. My relationship with my dad flourished and grew to be stronger than I could have ever imagined. I saw the love he has for me and my sister. He fought, he sacrificed, and he did everything he could to protect us and win full custody.
Many of you reading this don’t know me or my dad, but I’ll let you in on a little secret. I call him Diva Dad and he is the best person I know. Raising two teenage daughters on your own is not easy, and nearly impossible for some, but not for him. He is the reason I survived the divorce and am able to look back on it without anger but rather with an understanding of the good it created.
He continuously teaches me about personal strength, independence, resilience, and the importance of finding the good in every situation. He is my role model and best friend. I tell him all the time that we’re best friends and each time I get the same response, “Who are you? Do I know you? Which child are you?”. Not the most heartwarming reply, but it makes him laugh. Typically, I just give him a teenage angst look until he stops laughing (which takes a lot longer than you would think).
My dad inspires me daily and I am thankful for the sacrifices he made to better my home life, then and now. He is my biggest fan and favorite partner-in-crime. He picks me up when I fall, gives me (sometimes) harsh but always accurate life advice, and tells me I am more than capable of taking on the world. I hope one day to be as unconditionally loving, wise, and hilarious as him. But most importantly, I hope to have the same kind of bond with my future children that I have with him.
Divorce is not something you look forward to as a child and it can stop you in your tracks if it happens to you, but have faith. I know it is one of the scariest things to go through no matter your age. It hurts and changes everything normal in your life so ridiculously fast, but stay open minded. Try to remember that your parents are doing this to better your life, not to hurt you nor is the divorce because of you. They love you so much, but they know that staying somewhere that isn’t healthy for them isn’t healthy for you. This is hard for them too. Everything they’ve known and created with their partner is gone. Now they have to start over and learn to be happy on their own. Support your parent’s decision, take the changes as a learning experience, and at the end of it all you will be stronger because of it.
