Life In A Broken Family
Start writing a post
Relationships

Life In A Broken Family

For those who struggle with divorced parents, this one's for you.

30972
Life In A Broken Family
Esto Lano Law

The one happy memory I have of my parents, the happy, perfect couple, was when I was only six years old. We were on our family trip to Disney World. My parents held hands, shared a few intimate pecks on the lips, and were constantly smiling. As a young girl, I was too ignorant to understand the value and beauty of true love in its purest form. After that, the smiles and kisses turned into the screaming fights and sobbing that woke me up in the middle of the night. I am still not sure if they thought I was listening to them, but I was, for months, and their echoing screams at one another continue to linger in my thoughts today. I was woken up by the yells every night until mom and dad sat me and my seven-year-old brother down to tell us about the divorce they were getting. At six, I was not too familiar with the word "divorce", for it had never come up in one of our vocabulary lessons in school; however, seeing my father cry for the first time made me realize a "divorce" was not something to be excited about.

Fast forward to present day and my parents have been divorced for over ten years now. I am very accustomed to the switching of houses and constantly needing to pack a way-too-big bag in order to stay over my dad's house for only two days. Even as the strong and independent young woman I have grown into today, the thought of my parent's divorce still fogs my thoughts every day.

The hard part about living with a broken family is not the switching of houses every few days or texting the absent parent goodnight when I'm not with him or her. It's seeing happy families at dinner together, or on vacation, or simply laughing with one another over their favorite Wednesday night comedy show, and knowing that will never be my family. Living with divorced parents makes you feel incomplete. Who gets me on my birthday? Will I see both parents on Christmas Day, or will I see one on Christmas Eve instead? Who will be taking me out to my anticipated congratulatory dinner the day I graduate high school? One parent is always missing, and nothing can come close to filling that void.

Some kids see having divorced parents as easy, and some even see it as a luxury. They think that having two birthdays and having two Christmases is worth losing all the family dinners and the family nights fighting over what movie to watch since it is impossible for everyone to decide on just one.

They think getting a few extra presents each year is worth the distress to both the parents and the children felt when going through a divorce, and that feeling of emptiness that is impossible to neglect. If you are one to think that, my advice to you: Take a step back. Appreciate the loving family you have right in front of you, and realize the value of that love shared among all. Some children are not as fortunate as you are.

Even though living with divorced parents is very common among children these days, I think I speak for all kids in broken families that it is hard, and an even harder transition to begin with; however, the one thing that I realized would be harder to live with would be knowing that my parents were not happy being with one another. Currently, both my mother and father have been married for approximately six to seven years each. The one thing different between my parents in the past, when they were married to each other, and my parents now, when married to their separate spouses, is that they are both genuinely happy.

It is the pure happiness that you can sense by their presences, or their smiles, or their laughs. The happiness that gets you excited to meet the person you are going to fall in love with one day. Happiness truly is one of the best gifts one can be given during his or her lifetime, and my mother and father's current partners bring that to them every day. For me, realizing the gift and value of my parent's happiness took me quite a long time to understand.

Up until recently, I constantly thought about my parent's divorce in terms of its effects on me, and how it was changing my life. Anger would seize my body at the thought of my parents falling out of love. What could have happened that was that terrible to cause this? How could they do this to the one they love? I believe many kids in my situation view a divorce in the same lights that I did, which I believe is not wrong or selfish in any way.

That is what I would expect to be any child's first reaction; the child is not in his or her parent's shoes. Finding an appreciation for my parent's happiness made me realize why their divorce was necessary. Having my parents be miserable together is significantly worse than having them happy and apart, which is how I came to accept my parent's divorce. For me, the acceptance of my parent's divorce was a transition for me, a transition from childhood to adulthood. If my parents are happy, I cannot be anything but happy, as well.

For those in a broken family:

Family is one of the most important things in life. Never think that having divorced parents takes that away from you. Try to view the situation in a different light- in your parents' shoes. Realize that the decision to get a divorce was not made to hurt you, and most importantly, know that you are not the reason for its occurrence. Know the unconditional love both parents still and forever hold for you. Know that it truly does get easier.

And finally, to my parents who may or may not be reading this:

I cannot begin to express my love for you two. Please never think that I am mad at either of you for getting a divorce. I completely forgive you both, and now understand why a divorce was necessary for the two of you. Thank you for raising me into the young woman I am today. I truly benefit from seeing you both happy with the one you love. I hope to find a love like yours some day.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

Where To Find The Best Coffee Drinks In America, According To A Survey

Here's the coffee shop where you should get your morning brew.

240294

Coffee, for billions of people, is one of the only things that can get us out of bed (after hitting snooze a time or two), especially in 2020. Because, if we're being honest, is there anything that beats a quality cup of coffee on those mornings when all we wanted to do is roll over and go back to sleep? The answer is no. And if you're headed to a coffee shop to pick up your caffeinated beverage, you don't want to sleep on the best coffee drinks in America.

According to LiveShopper Sassie's Coffee Project survey, when it comes to chain coffee shops, there are definitely preferred spots you'll want to hit up for your go-to order — whether you order the classic, frozen, or flavored coffee, an espresso, tea, or other. To figure out the hot spots, 1,000 coffee drinkers across the United States took to LiveShopper's mobile app, PrestoShopper, to answer various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

The Best Bagel Recipes For Every Personality Type, In Case You Need Another Excuse To Eat Carbs

I'll approve of pasta for breakfast any day, but this is more socially acceptable.

10534
NBC

I've had times in my life at which I've told myself I need to cut out carbs. Those moments last about a minute or two before I start daydreaming about rice and pasta.

Bagels hold a special place in my heart — for many of my college friends and me, a bagel sandwich was the go-to breakfast after a long night of drinking. Years later, I still love to indulge in the occasional carb-filled breakfast. As much as I love putting in an UberEats order from bed, nothing beats the feeling of pulling some fresh-baked bread or pastries out of the oven.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Survey: Which Issues Are The Most Important To You In The 2020 Election

If you're a first-time voter or voting by mail for the first time, we want to hear your story.

85305

The general election on Tuesday, November 3, 2020, will decide not only the next president of the United States but also which political party controls the House of Representatives and the Senate. Young and first-time voters will play a crucial part in determining the result.

Keep Reading... Show less
Tips

Articles To Write If You're All About Saving More Money, And Waking Up A Little Bit Earlier

Get your day started right — and keep that budget tight.

219347

For all the young professionals, parents, and students out there who've been working, learning, or even teaching remote — 2020 has likely been the longest year of your life. If you didn't know (sorry), we've been locked down for over 200 days now, and chances are, you are ready for it to be OVER.

Keep Reading... Show less

Scrolling through Instagram can get stale after a while, especially if you're constantly refreshing in the hopes of finding something new and exciting. Should you be looking to add some inspiration to your timeline in the form of self-love tips, relationship advice, or love secrets, here are 11 relationship coaches you'll LOVE following.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

How Much Of A Coffee Snob You Are, Based On Where You Live

Your state may determine how picky you are about your coffee.

131725

When it comes to coffee, everyone has different criteria for what goes into their "perfect cup." Some caffeine lovers, though, are extra particular when it comes to their beloved beverage. One survey found that the state you're from (or the one you live in now) may play a part in determining how much of a coffee snob you actually are.

LiveShopper Sassie, the company behind this Coffee Project survey, received input from 1,000 coffee drinkers via their mobile app, PrestoShopper, to ask various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less

If you are a college freshman, or new to college, this is for you. If you are in a new time in life where you don't know where this change is going to take you, where you might not have your community yet, this is for you. Or even if you are stuck in a rut of everyday life where the new normal is quarantine and isolation, this is also for you.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

As Illinois Reaches Its Highest Death Toll Since June, I Urge You To Stay Home And Wear Your Mask

69 COVID-19 deaths were recorded in a twenty-four-hour period, the highest amount since June of this year.

781
Photo by Noah on Unsplash

As we are approaching colder weather, we are also approaching a spike in COVID-19 cases throughout the state of Illinois. On October 21, 2020, Illinois recorded its largest daily COVID-19 death toll since June of this year. According to the Illinois Department of Public Health, 69 deaths of people who contracted COVID-19 were recorded within a twenty-four-hour period, raising the state's death toll to 9,345 since the start of the pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less

When "Mean Girls" said "In girl world, Halloween is the one time of the year where you can dress up like a total slut and no one can do or say anything about it," they were damn right. Halloween is the perfect excuse to buy that raunchy costume and show your partner that you're that B. Coming from a very single (yes, very single) 20 something-year-old, I have already got my Halloween costume on lock, and now you will too.

Not only are these 10 Halloween costumes dangerously sexy, but you can wear them in the bedroom whenever you want to give your boo a surprise, yes, year-round. Whoever said you can only dress up on Halloween is seriously disturbed.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ariana Grande released her first single called "positions" since "boyfriend" with Social House and it is a BANGER. This song is absolutely incredible and I am SURE you will agree with me once you listen.

I'm a sucker for a single with a video and that's exactly what we got. Ariana's been pretty quiet during the pandemic, and we all assumed she was working on some new music, and we were right.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Rejection Of Black Lives Matter Mural By Phoenix City Council Doesn’t Stop Gizette Knight

The Phoenix City Council rejected a proposal for a Black Lives Matter Mural in downtown Phoenix. But Gizette Knight says this is not the end.

562
Photo by Josh Olalde on Unsplash

Community organizer Gizette Knight, CEO of Reality Dreams LLC, is not giving up on the Phoenix City Council's rejection of the Black Lives Matter mural.

Keep Reading... Show less

For me, chai isn't just what I drink — it's a core part of who I am. Sure, I'll switch it up every now and then with a cup of English Breakfast, Earl Grey, rose, or Darjeeling, but I always come back to chai.

Nearly every tea lover has one tea they repeatedly drink and go back to, whether it's a daily morning ritual or an afternoon pick-me-up. One of my good friends has almost eight cups of jasmine tea every single day — she drinks more tea than water, actually.

Keep Reading... Show less

In a world where physical contact is a liability, the ease of slipping into despair and isolation has never been so tempting. Perhaps the greatest kindness we can lend to one another is reaching out to the people that meant something to us before everything changed. Here's why you should message your friend today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments