The Surprising Benefits Of Pornography

The Surprising Benefits Of Pornography

Porn may actually be good for your relationships and personal health. Who knew?
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For many people, stumbling upon someone's browser history can be a bit troubling, and even traumatic. Pornography is one of the most taboo subjects, so it seems counterintuitive to think viewing porn can be good for you. There are many studies out there discussing the detriments of porn, but we often overlook the lighter and brighter side of the argument. While porn certainly will not be curing cancer anytime soon, it is not nearly as bad as the anti-porn frenzy would suggest. In fact, it comes with surprising benefits for porn users. To defend porn against its critics, here are some reasons why a little Internet porn is good for you.

It's actually pretty healthy, and very normal.

Sure, porn may provide people with unrealistic expectations about sex and relationships, but so does "Twilight." Unrealistic expectations about sex are everywhere, so porn cannot be blamed for that! Some people watch porn to escape. It depends on how it is being used that determines its effect on your sex life. Ultimately, no one should feel threatened or ashamed.

Despite the studies claiming that porn is bad for your brain and your relationships, there are just as many studies saying that porn does not cause irrevocable harm to the brain or your sex life — in fact, it might even be kind of good for you. A survey done of 688 Danish adults concluded that porn did not yield any negative mental or health effects. In fact, the researchers found a positive correlation between the subjects’ porn viewing and increased sexual satisfaction, as well as self-reported benefits in other areas of their lives.

It allows you to explore and learn.

Porn is great for when you want your fantasies created for you, because let’s be honest, we are not always that creative. Just as sex ed was how we find out about the mechanics of sex -- what goes where — pornography is how many of us begin to figure out how that relates to our sexualities. Pornography is not an ideal replacement for sex ed, but it can be an excellent education as to what’s out there for you to explore.

It is all about how you use it; of course porn is exaggerated, but name one aspect of the entertainment industry that isn't. There are definitely unrealistic expectations — especially for women — so we must keep in mind how porn is a way to get a taste of what certain things might be like, not what it will actually be like. Don't use porn as your own sex encyclopedia because not everything is exactly by the book. Only real exploration can tell you what you actually like, but using porn as a jumping-off point may not be such a bad idea.

It can help people feel more comfortable with sex.

Sex, in general — with its unanticipated noises and bodily fluids and ridiculous O-faces — is kind of funny, and even a little silly at times. The fact that there’s an added level to artifice to porn makes it even better. If you cannot get into porn itself, you can at least get behind the idea that sex should be fun. Watching porn can help people get more comfortable with all the crazy nuances of sex.

Keep in mind, however, that porn is a form of entertainment created by professionals. This does not mean porn cannot help you explore what your likes and dislikes are; it just means you should keep things in perspective. Actors may do things you do not agree with, but that does not mean you have to do it, too. Although most of us may be uncomfortable talking about certain aspects of sex, viewing media can be a helpful way to broach that subject and create opinions for yourself and others.

It can help your relationships.

The best sex happens when partners are on the same page. Watching porn together helps couples get honest and open about their preferences — and that's when good sex happens. If both people are comfortable with something, that can be a great revelation. In fact, a 2014 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that couples who were honest with each other about their porn use generally had healthier relationships.

Pornography is not a replacement for the real thing, but research has also shown that having a healthy masturbation schedule actually makes us better sex partners — and partners in general. While not only being good for your physical and mental health, it is a way to continue making sure your own sexual needs are being met outside of the bedroom. Even for those in relationships, it is important to be able to make each other happy, along with making yourself happy.

There is an enormous divide between perspectives on porn in our society. While some say it is perfectly healthy and natural, others say it accounts for porn-related issues such as erectile dysfunction, elevated divorce rates and even sex addictions. There is good and bad; it is not that simple, and there will probably never be a final study on porn to sway everybody from one side to the other. Whether you watch porn or not, it can be agreed that the keys to positive sexuality are honesty, close attention to your own desires, and good communication — so sex gets better for everyone!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Internet outraged at Delhi Aunty for Sl*t Shaming

Public outrage - justified or an overreaction?

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When the topic of sexual violence against women arises, women are often held responsible - because of how they dress, or how they behave, or even if they have a voice. A recent incident in Delhi showed that the mindset of people has not changed. In a video posted by Shivani Gupta, a middle-aged woman is seen defending her claim, "Women wearing short dresses deserve to be raped."

This backward mentality surrounding rape and rape culture is horrifying to see. The middle-aged woman first shamed them for wearing short clothes and when she was confronted, she told them "they deserved to get raped." She made things worse when she told other men in the restaurant to rape such women who wear short clothes.

Shivani and her friends later confronted this woman while taking the video. They wanted a public apology for her statement and followed her around. The older woman stood by her statement. Fair enough. They felt threatened by her statements and wanted an apology for her actions. The older lady, however, was brazen about her ideologies and refused to apologize. In fact, she threatened to call the cops for harassment.

The woman who made the regressive statements. Shivani Gupta

While the anger and outrage by the women who uploaded this video are justified, several questions are being raised on whether the older woman was later harassed for her statements. Public shaming is not the way to solve this issue.

"We cannot dismantle a culture of shaming by participating in it." - Rega Jha.

Now, I believe that nobody must engage in victim shaming. Nobody has the right to police the outfit one wishes to wear. It is astonishing to believe that even in the 21st century, people still believe that an outfit determines the morality and character of a person. That older woman was wrong to sl*t-shame the girls for wearing what they want. That being said, even though what that woman did was horrible, public shaming will not work. It will not change the mindset behind these ideologies. What that older woman did was akin to bullying. Publicly shaming her, stalking her facebook account or posting comments or by coercing her, you are also behaving in the same manner of bullying.

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