What Girls See When Watching Porn

What Girls See When Watching Porn

They're taught about the internal anatomy in school, but everything else between the legs is left out.
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What are some of the first things girls are taught about sex?

Depending on whether or not young girls are getting a sex education at home, school is the first place many people get introduced to the big complicated world of sex. It is required to learn about the inside anatomy in health class; female students are taught about the ovaries and how babies grow and develop, but everything else between the legs is left out. Sex -- as in the emotional and steamy interaction between two partners -- is still a big mystery. Up until college, many females have very little self-knowledge about what pleasurable and realistic sex looks like. They go on to try and discover their own sexual experiences, most likely expecting some sense of equality and realizations about themselves, only to find they were not adequately given the knowledge to do so.

With so many questions unanswered, many adolescent females are turning to pornography to get the answer about sex they were never given, to learn about their bodies, what feels good and how everything works down there. Researchers who have listened to teenagers talk frankly report that, for many, porn is the main source of sex education. Even those who have not viewed it have heard plenty about it from friends. It is shaping their expectations of sex, which may not be the best thing since porn isn’t really known for its authenticity. One student from Western Washington University opened up about her sex education in high school, “I only remember learning about genitals and puberty, but not about sex explicitly. I was never shown how to put a condom on, told about safe sex, about sexually transmitted diseases, or any of that.”

We find ourselves in a bit of a predicament; a perplexingly ambivalent culture where girls seem to be empowered in almost every sphere expect the sexual one because so little is taught about actually how to have sex. Women are coming of age in a time where pornography is both increasingly aggressive and more widely available than ever, laptops have replaced teachers and parents in the search to find answers about sex.

There is no doubt that pornography sexualizes young women by creating the undue pressure to look and act sexy, particularly during sex. “I definitely think there is a causation between inadequate sex education and young people turning to porn to better understand sex,” says another young woman from Western Washington University. Young girls need to know how to put a name on their sexual desires, how to express their sexuality and be sexual in safe ways, and to know the consequences of not practicing safe sex. “I think porn makes women believe that they need to be really confident and sexy and moan and be loud, when in real life it’s OK to fumble, and it is important to communicate throughout the moment so that each person has an enjoyable experience. Porn makes women believe that it is not OK to ask questions towards their partner and that everything has to run smoothly for it to be sexy for their partner.”

Practicing safe sex means knowing what you want and how to ask for it. Pornography is not just projecting expectations for young men on their partners, these pressures also affect the sexual expectations that girls put on themselves along with what they should expect from sex. The problem is not talking to young girls about how to take charge and assert sexual pleasure for themselves.

It is absolutely important we don't talk about women as the victims here since all young adults are exposed to and affected by the porn industry. We need to be talking clearly and honestly to girls about their own desires and their own pleasures. The kind of sex pornography portrays makes it seem more normal for sexual contact to precede emotional intimacy, so girls are afraid to ask questions even though they must act as if they are having a good time. Sex is important for connection and is only one part of a relationship. It is time for young women to learn to enjoy the pleasure, intimacy and closeness that sex brings without having to worry about how they look.

Cover Image Credit: http://s5.favim.com/orig/53/apple-girl-laptop-pink-Favim.com-500671.jpg

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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Tanya Gold, Your Fatphobic Article Is Uneducated And Arrogant

BREAKING NEWS: Women come in all different shapes and sizes!

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Just recently, Nike released a plus-size mannequin at one of their stores in London that showed off their plus-size leggings and sports bra. And, because we live in a world where being fat or overweight or obese is somehow the worst thing in the world to some people, this has sparked a lot of discussion.

Tanya Gold wrote an article for The Telegraph saying that this mannequin “cannot run" and is “likely pre-diabetic" and “on her way to a hip-replacement." Not only is Tanya's article uneducated and poorly written, it's completely fatphobic and embarrassing.

What I would like to know is this: why can't plus-size women work out in Nike clothes just like a size 2 woman? People want to scream from the rooftops that plus-size women are fat because they don't exercise and when companies FINALLY start catering to plus-size women with clothes they can EXERCISE IN, people lose their minds and think that they're promoting obesity.

What are plus sized women supposed to work out in if they can't even wear Nike leggings without being fat-shamed?

Would you rather them wear jeans? Overalls? A parka, maybe? What about a garbage bag?

Let's also discuss the fact that being overweight doesn't equal being unhealthy, just like being at a “normal" weight doesn't make you healthy. Did you ever stop to think that some women have diseases that make them gain weight that they, in return, can't lose? Some women can eat salad for every single meal, seven days a week and they still can't lose weight.

Let's all say this together: SIZE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FITNESS. Being thin doesn't equal being healthy and being overweight doesn't equal being unhealthy.

Everyone (and yes, I mean EVERYONE) should be able to be comfortable in their own skin AND in their clothes.

You can't sit and pout saying that fat people don't care about their health and then when they want comfortable clothes to wear while they're EXERCISING, hell has frozen over and how dare Nike cater to people who aren't a size 2.

Tanya, be honest with yourself. You aren't anywhere near a size 2, either, so where is all of this coming from? Are you self-loathing? Do you have some kind of internal fatphobia?

Pick a side, Tanya. You can't hate people who are overweight because you think that they aren't exercising and then when they do exercise and they get clothes that cater to them, it's all of the sudden wrong and horrible.

We are damned if we do, damned if we don't. As if women (and men) weren't already being shamed enough for being plus size, we're now being made to feel bad because a brand caters to our size so we can wear the same clothes all of the other sizes can wear.

Thank you, Nike, for making your brand more inclusive for all shapes and sizes so we can ALL feel confident in our clothes.

I think it's worth mentioning that Nike released their plus-size line in 2017 AKA 2 years ago... Why weren't you mad then?

Oh, and, Tanya Gold, you might want to stop smoking since you're all about being healthy, right? You don't want to get lung cancer or anything, do you?

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