Dear Summer 2015,
It's not you. It's me.
It's been real. It's been fun. And it HAS been real fun, honestly. But it's time for me to move on.
I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for accepting me when I fell into your arms, sleepy, stressed, and on the upswing of anxiety as a result of the abusive relationship that I was in with spring semester before I found you. Thank you for taking me into your warmth and reminding me to relax, breathe deeply, and have fun. Thank you for reminding me how to run barefoot through the grass and to embrace sweatiness and sunburn. Thank you for reviving me.
We've had so much fun together over the past three months, and the mark you left on me in the form of a farmer's tan will serve as a reminder of all the fun times we had together exploring cities, meeting up with old friends, laying out on the beach, and just sitting at home, soaking up your relaxing, lazy attitude.
But I have to grow up, and you don't seem to be on the same page as me. You seem to be stuck staying up late and not waking up until noon and you're a little too okay with me eating whatever I want (because I can always hit up the campus rec center when I get back to school) and blowing cash on bubbles, Kool-Aid, and food truck food.
That's what I love about you, summer, and I'm not asking you to change. It's just that you and I are going in different directions.
There's another season calling my name: the season of pumpkin spice lattes, crunchy leaves, and college. His name is fall.
Very soon, I have to replenish my Starbucks gift card, fill my car with dorm supplies, and drop some Benjamins on textbooks and tuition. I hope you can understand that I'm taking control of my life and doing something to better myself. I'll remember you fondly when I'm sitting in a hard chair in a basement classroom bubbling in a Scantron, and I'll miss your warm embrace when it's January and I walk outside and my eyelashes freeze.
I won't miss you all the time, though. When I put on an oversized sweatshirt and yoga pants and furry boots and jump into a pile of leaves, or get into a snowball fight on a day when class is cancelled, you'll be a far and distant thought, summer. I'm looking forward to the seasons ahead. I'm jumping headlong into fall very soon. But eventually I'll have to leave fall for the cold-hearted but Christmas-filled winter, and down the road, I'll have to give winter the cold shoulder for the steamy green spring. I'll have to go back to the spring I left you for, but I know myself better and I can trust myself not to be abused until three in the morning by an increasingly large pile of unfinished schoolwork.
To quote the saddest song from any Disney Channel Original Movie ever, "I just don't belong here, I hope you understand. We might find our place in this world someday, but at least for now, I gotta go my own way."
But I'll be back for you, summer. Long after the Chaco tan fades, the memories of you will come back again when I least expect them, and I'll be preparing myself for the new and improved you in 2016. This isn't goodbye, summer. This is see you later.
Love always,
Me
