Sometimes The Bravest Thing Is Continuing To Live When You Want To Die

Sometimes The Bravest Thing Is Continuing To Live When You Want To Die

"Suicide doesn't end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better." – Unknown


The National Institute of Mental Health states reported that In 2016

  • Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.
  • There were more than twice as many suicides (44,965) in the United States as there were homicides (19,362).

Suicide awareness and mental health awareness are so important. Suicide should not be the second leading cause of death. There are so many reasons people commit suicide, and often times we will never really know why they do. Some things others cannot change, like substance abuse or being diagnosed with terminal illnesses. Other suicide causes we can change, like bullying and abuse. The best thing we can do is support those suffering and try to prevent more suicides.

Did I ever try to commit suicide? No. Did I ever self-harm? No. I just slept all the time so I wouldn't have to feel or think anything. Did I wonder what the world would be like without me in it sometimes? Or how if I could just make my overwhelming anxiety and self-hate stop somehow things would be better? Yes. I did.

I never got to the point where I wanted to take my own life but there are far too many people that do. And I honestly can understand why. Sometimes your internal demons are so bad you just want it all to go away and think death will be the answer.

{If you feel like this please know that death or self-harm isn't the answer. You can find help. You are loved. You are valuable. You are worthy. Whatever you're going through someone will listen. You can heal and you can get better. Every day won't be easy, but fight and push through and you can have good days.}

We lose so many people to mental health issues and it needs to be discussed more often. And I don't mean in the condescending "she has no reason to be depressed" way. It's not about what is so wrong with life all the time.

"Because if you kill yourself, you're also going to kill the people who love you."-unknown

I had a great family. I had a great future ahead of me. I was in love. I had amazing friends. I made awesome grades. I had a good car and home. I didn't have financial struggles. I had a Christian support group. My life was great.

Mental illness doesn't care about those things though. Sometimes you can have everything in the world and it still never be enough. Sometimes our brains just don't agree with us. It isn't just something people do for attention.

If someone is threatening to take their life pay attention. It's a cry for help. Sometimes people may not outright say they are having suicidal thoughts, but you notice behavior that isn't healthy. The best thing you can do for someone is reaching out and offering healthy coping mechanisms or even offering to take them to a counselor or hospital.

But at the end of the day, it is their choice to get help or to not get help. But that doesn't mean don't try.

(You can only help someone so much before they help themselves. It is hard to love someone with a mental illness. The guilt and fear you probably feel are hard things to experience. So take care of yourself too. And know that it isn't your responsibility to fix someone else. Children don't know how to cope, so yes advocate for your children. But as an adult, you are responsible for yourself.)

You never know what kind of hope your little act of kindness can give someone who is struggling.

There are so many amazing treatments that can help. There are so many support groups and loving people that want to help. Society is working its way towards a better "mental health" support community. But there's still so much more that needs to be done.

We need more education on the various types of mental health issues and how you can help someone who is struggling. We need to stop making it such a negative thing and start accepting people and supporting people who are struggling. If we could find ways to better support each other instead of constantly tearing each other down and putting so much pressure on each other maybe our world would be a better place.

No child should ever commit suicide because they are bullied so badly. No child should even have access to learn how to commit suicide. Children should be focusing on playing and having fun. Teach your children and brothers and sisters to be kind. Be the change you want to see.

I don't know the answers to fixing the extremely high suicide rates in our country, but what I do know is that it needs to be fixed. Does it start with fixing the overwhelming drug problem? Are rates increases with the increase of social media and cyberbullying? Are suicide rates in men so high because society puts too much pressure on them to be strong and to never fail?

Statistics like these shouldn't be real... "In 2014, an average of 20 Veterans died by suicide each day. Six of the 20 were recent users of VHA services in 2013 or 2014." but the sad truth is that they are. The people that fight for our freedoms need to be cared for. There must be more safe places for people to heal. There needs to be more acceptance and support. We need to heal our people.

At the end of the day it comes down to this, you never know what demons someone is fighting. Be kind. Your one minute of speaking up could be saving someone's life. Be the light in someone's darkness.

"Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You're alive for a reason so don't ever give up." – Unknown


National Suicide Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255 - available 24/7

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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If You Want To Die Tonight, Please Read This

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.


If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255





The thoughts are deafening, screaming at you that the world would be better off without you and that no one would care if you were gone.

So, you find yourself on the Internet, searching for ways to die in a relatively painless way that will leave the least amount of mess for others. You find yourself thinking about the bridge a half mile from your house or the assortment of pills lining the walls of your medicine cabinet. You remember that your roommates will not be home from class for a few hours; that you are totally alone.

And then, in your Internet search for ways to finally escape the pain, you happen upon this article.

Yes, this one right here.

This one telling you to stay.

And, well, you find yourself still reading along because a piece of you, even if it is the smallest piece of your existence, wants a reason to live.

* * *

I am not sure what is causing you pain, and maybe you honestly are not sure either. All you know is that you have this pain — this never-ending pain — and it's become enough.

Society tells us that we need to tattoo a smile onto our faces and pretend that everything is OK even when we are aching on the inside. If you take one thing away from this article, I want you to remember this — it is OK not to be OK. It is OK if you are not OK today or tomorrow or next week or a year from now. However, one day, it will be a little better and there will be a little bit of sunshine peeking out through the clouds.

I want you to live. More importantly, I want you to want to live.

And, sometimes, wanting to live is about just noticing the little things that make you happy and remembering them.

Like the way the sun looks glistening off of the lake by your house at 5:47 p.m. on a Thursday evening.

Or the way the scent of your coffee creeps up your nostrils while it cools to a drinkable temperature.

Or the fact that a new episode of your family's favorite show is coming on this Thursday.

Or the way your Lush bath bomb colors your water into beautiful shades of blue and green and yellow and pink.

Or the dinner your Mom cooked for tonight to share with you, your Dad, and your sister.

* * *

Life may not turn out how you plan, but perhaps that is not a bad thing.

God has a plan for you.

Why the plan involves you feeling this way, I do not know, but I do know that God did not bring you into this world to suffer.

You deserve help.

You deserve love.

You deserve to be supported.

Even if you feel alone, I promise you are never alone.

You can text "Hello" to 741-741 at any hour of the day and someone will be there to support you.

* * *

So, tonight while you want to die, please just think about the last time you smiled so hard that your face physically hurt or laughed until you almost peed. Just think about a time that you felt something besides what you are feeling now and hold onto it.

Hold onto it, lie down, and go to sleep.

And wake up tomorrow knowing that you are a survivor.

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