Just a few days ago, I packed my bags and hopped on a giant tube of metal that sent me hurtling through the sky and clear into another country. The airplane wasn’t a new experience, but leaving the United States was. Between time constraints and financial limitations, I have never before had the occasion to travel internationally. Then I heard that my university was running a summer study-abroad program in Antigua, Guatemala, and suddenly opportunity came knocking on my door.
The chance to improve my Spanish in an immersive program was appealing, and the prospect of traveling somewhere new and exciting and completely different from what I’m used to was nothing short of enchanting. But as exciting as it seemed, the trip was also intimidating and more than a little nerve-wracking. Although I have taken domestic flights before, it has always been with a family member or a close friend, and I’ve certainly never been on the other side of international borders from practically everyone I know. Several times during the week prior to my departure, my mother woke up at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for work only to find me still awake, unable to sleep because anxiety over my rapidly approaching trip kept my eyes glued open.
What if I get lost? What if I get sick? What if my Spanish is bad? What if they send my luggage to Guadalajara instead of Guatemala?
Knowing that worrying is pointless doesn’t make the worry go away.
But I also knew that I couldn’t pass up this moment. The rational part of my brain, the part that convinced me to get on a plane instead of trying to hide under the seats of my mother’s car, knew that this was an opportunity for me to learn, and grow, and to make myself better. Studying abroad isn’t just about racking up a few more units, it’s an experience that changes you (or so I’ve heard—so I hope). It is about surrounding yourself with a culture that is different from your own and learning to fit in that unique cultural space. It’s about pushing yourself, and seeing new things, and daring to get out of your comfort zone.
Those were the thoughts that radiated through me as I stepped out of the airport and into Guatemala City. It was definitely reassuring that I wasn’t alone—I was able to travel with one of my classmates, and we quickly bonded over mutual anxiety and a shared interest in small furry animals. For me, though, all the anxiety melted away the moment our shuttle bounced onto the cobblestone streets of Antigua.
The streets were lined with brightly colored houses, painted in a vibrant way that is rare in the monochromatic suburbs of California. The narrow walkways were bustling with life, and the roads were packed with cars and motorcycles and the occasional horse-drawn carriage. The house that is now my home-away-from home is beautiful, and the architecture is delightfully unfamiliar. The woman who will be hosting me for the upcoming month was incredibly kind and seemed delighted to get to know me. Although I’m sure my Spanish stumbled here and there, my ability to make myself understood was much better than I had anticipated. One by one, I was able to check items off my list of fears.
My adventure abroad is only just beginning, but already I am so thankful that I was willing to take the leap necessary to get me here. In a single day, my world has gotten so much larger, and it turns out that most of the concerns that were holding me back aren’t concerns at all. It is a revelation in praise of being brave, and pushing yourself to do something different and maybe even a little bit terrifying. You never know how much you have to gain.
