In honor of finals week and spending most of our time with our noses deep in books, I thought the least I could do was to provide some high quality procrastination humor. I asked around campus for the funniest and most embarrassing things that have ever occurred to in the library. Take a break of the books and feel thankful these things didn't happen to you.
“This isn’t necessarily embarrassing in the library, but the only romantic interest anyone has shown to me while at this school was from a secret admirer letter given to me in the atrium on a Saturday… the next semester, said admirer was in my English class (we did not talk once)”
“One time I thought that Hamilton (named changed for privacy cause we gotta give that R.E.S.P.E.C.T) had thrown something at my head from the steps because we were chatting and he was making fun of me and so I didn’t think anything of it and then I see a FREAKIN' COCKROACH fall to the ground and I squealed and almost cried cause that’s horrifying that a cockroach fell from the sky in the ZSR on my head”
“I talked about a boy, thinking I was the most casual girl in the joint. He approached me out that weekend and told me he heard everything I had said. Do less.”
“I think I got too comfortable because I had been on the 6th floor for about 8 hours, but I smelled something and then it occurred to me that it had more than likely come from me. Hopefully it wasn’t loud…”
“Shout out to that guy that opened his laptop and his porn started playing. God bless.”
“I was on the sixth floor and opened my laptop and Neighbors started playing. As in the movie about the fraternity moving in next door…”
“I opened my laptop to study and ‘I know you I walked with you once upon a dream’ started playing so loud. I have an old laptop and had to wait for it to accept my password before I could turn it off. I had been listening to it while painting coolers the night before and looked like a weenie.”
“I had thought my headphones were plugged in to my phone and was really feeling some type of way and needed some rap music. Keep in mind; people typically think I listen to Taylor Swift or Coldplay… But I turned on Life of Pablo by Kanye and didn’t notice it was playing out loud until the boy a table over came over and kindly suggested I plug in my headphones.”
“I dropped a book on the ground and when I bent over to pick it up, I farted so loud that it honestly sounded like I had dropped another book. I had to run out of the library because I was somewhere between laughing too loud or crying.”
"As I was trying to find a desk on any floor of the library, I was walking and this boy tried to tell me there were no desks on the floor I was on. As I tried to respond, I tripped and also sneezed and didn’t get out a single coherent word. Just noise.”
“I was taking a break from my work with one of my friends and we were in the stairwells and we heard these two guys a floor up talking about how one of them lost their virginity that weekend. We got so curious as to who it was that we walked up a floor and came out by them so we could see who it was. We found out so much about that sweet boy. Congrats!”
So with finals just coming at us full force—remember that it’s okay to embarrass yourself in the lib. I promise we have all done it. Study hard. You can do it!!
