It's that time of year again — blisters, chaffing, heat rash, and despite the negativity of the aforementioned ailments, a lot of fun for many kids in the Midwest.
In a town surrounded by cornfields and cattle, detasseling was one of my first jobs. At 4 a.m., my alarm clock beeped. I trudged out of bed, pulled on my irrigation boots and a long-sleeved shirt and shorts. Then, I walked across town and climbed onto a yellow bus full of many more tired kids. Experienced workers slept in the back of the bus while eager, unknowing "first yearers" giggled with their friends at the front. Our bus driver then drove a maze of country roads until we arrived at the field just as the sun came up. Detasseling sunrises are truly a sight to see. The sky is painted with shades of reds, pinks, oranges, and purples behind the Nebraskan horizon of corn. We all then climbed off the bus and wandered toward the field. Finally, the day began. We worked, we hurt, and by the end of the day our lunchboxes were empty, feet were blistered and bodies were ready for a nap.
Detasseling is a rough job. If you're tough enough to take on the challenge, it can really build up your character and your bank account! Having seven years of experience, and in dedication to the season starting for many crews in my area, I'd like to share some of the struggles that only kids who've detasseled understand.
1. Corn Rash
An awful rash consisting of mostly cuts. They’re likely filled with pesticides and Satan’s saliva. The only way to avoid getting it is to cover every inch of your skin with clothing- resulting in a very hot day. Bandanas and long sleeved shirts and pants are not meant for July in the Midwest.
2. When the water in your camelback hose is hot, but you have to drink it to get to the cold stuff.
“I’m so hot and thirsty… Now I’m more hot and less thirsty…”
3. Blocking.
‘Nuff said. Especially when you’re five foot zero.
4. When you think you can see the end, but when you FINALLY reach it, it’s just the top of a hill.
*cries*
5. When you run out of food and you’re tempted to sell your soul for a fruit roll up.
Or at least an oatmeal cream pie.
6. “Just one more round!” is the biggest lie you'll ever hear.
7. You're not working hard enough if you don't lose a toenail or two.
8. When you do a terrible second pull and you beg your boss to tell you who did it first so you can murder them
...or at least corn zebra them.
9. BEING CORN ZEBRAD.
10. Walking through the field when it's freezing and wet.
Hey, at least it hides the pit stains.
11. Blisters, blisters, blisters.
...Did I mention blisters?
12. Having no social life because you go to bed at 6 p.m.
13. Grasshoppers, spiders, and bugs galore.
Don't even get me started on the fear that fills your body when one winds up inside your hat's net.
14. Trying not to break your ankle when you fall into a badger hole.
15. Praying to God there's no badger in the hole you fell in.
16. Having to choose whether to break your ankles and walk on the ridges or to walk in the middle and be too short.
Either way, your feet are going to hurt. Pick your poison. And your tassels.
17. Accidentally getting too in to your song that came on your iPod and singing super sexual lyrics to one of your friends.
"I wanna do you like Michael... I wanna kiss you like Prince!"
"Chantal, no. We are just friends."
18. When it storms the night before and the field is impossible to walk in because the mud is sticky.
And smelly. It's not just mud, ladies and gents.
19. Falling asleep on the bus and being messed with in indescribable ways.
20. Trying to peel your socks off at the end of the day without disturbing your blisters.
Emphasis on "trying." More like failing.
21. Being bailed out by the kid who misses every tassel.
Gee… thanks…
22. Trying to decide what to spend all that money on!
Detasseling is one of the best paying jobs a twelve-year-old kid can have!
23. Leaving your friends at the end of the summer.
Because let's be honest, even though the job itself sucks most of the time, the friendships built during the job can last a lifetime. My first carrier riding partner is now my college roommate!
All in all, detasseling is a crazy job. Who knew that walking through rows of corn and pulling out the tassels would be so dramatic? Despite its difficulties, I'd recommend every teen try it at least once. It's character building, and if you have the right attitude about it, not even the worst blister could damper the experience.
