Being a French major has become one of my favorite aspects of college. Being able to speak a foreign language, talk to all sorts of different French-speaking people, and read the original writings of a lot of famous French écrivains are a few of my favorite perks. But there are also several unique struggles (try saying that in a French accent) as well.
Simply speaking French, for example. Some days I feel like Marcel Proust with my French; master of words, understanding everything I hear and being able to respond not only appropriately, but eloquently.
Other days I question my ability to speak French at all. "Can I even French?" I ask myself, as I struggle to form together a sentence and struggle to remember words that I learned years ago. Wait...how do I introduce myself again?! Verb conjugation? Gone. Just adding another syllable to the word puts it in future tense, right? Also, does anyone actually know what simple passé even does?
Well, even on my "good" days in French, grammar (especially with the verbs) is always a #struggle. And don't even get me started on direct and indirect pronouns. Even after five years of French I still get confused when to use "le" and "lui", and still constantly confused on what "en" and "y" even do. If you speak to me using multiple pronouns, give me a minute just to sort through all of the references in my head. Also-why do words in French have gender? Who decided that kitchens are feminine and offices are masculine?
I could go on forever about the struggles associated with speaking French, but then I would have no room to write about the struggles of actually being a French major. First off, very few people are actually French majors (or minors, y'all cool too) at my (and most) university. So it's hard to find people to talk to in French or study with, unless it's the three other people who are in your French classes. Bright side-it does make for a very tightly-knit environment, and when we find someone else who speaks French, we're automatically friends.
But the vast majority of our friends who don't speak French ask us a lot of stupid questions. Some may say that no question is a stupid question, but that's simply not true. Sorry (not sorry). When you've been asked more times than you can count, "Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?", you know stupid questions, and the struggle, are both real. PSA for those non-French majors reading, the French Patti LaBelle so eloquently integrated into her famous song is translated as, "Do you want to sleep with me?" causing awkward moments for French speakers everywhere when their ignorant non-French friends pose this question, oftentimes the only French words they know other than "Bonjour, au revoir, merci, baguette (Hello, goodbye, thank you, baguette)."
I don't know why non-French speakers deem it necessary to attempt French around a French speaker such as myself. Or ask me how to say something sexy in French. Once you know the wonderfulness of the guttural "r" in French, the romance is gone. PSA #2-If you do ask me how to say something sexy in French, I'll probably reply with, "Vous êtes un bête connard." So, just don't.
And yes, there are times where I might slip into French accidentally, mispronounce or misspell a word "the French way" or just find it hard to speak English because my head's in French. I would say sorry, but those are just some of the struggles of having one brain and speaking two languages.
Finally, Americans just have a really skewed view of France. Two quick corrections before this rant of an article is over:
1. Not everyone in France is mean. People in Paris are usually harsher because, well, who wouldn't be salty if they had loud, oblivious and obnoxious tourists in their home ville 24/7?!
2. France is a lot more than Paris, and Paris is a lot more than the Eiffel Tower, despite what American movies tell you.
Really, whatever you have to say about French, I don't care. Because I love being able to speak another language and the unique opportunities it presents. Who knows, I may even learn a couple more. J'adore ma matière principale de français et la belle langue je sais. Vive la France!
Want to learn more about how to not be that American? I'm here to help! Here are two videos of French clichés that are simply not true, one in English and one in French with English subtitles. Bon voyage!
