Ever since I was in middle school, I was fond of taking personality tests and other quizzes that claimed to decipher my personality and what kind of person I was. To be honest, I had a hard time figuring myself out and my own personality at the time, and I guess I thought an online quiz from Blogthings could clear things up for me. Not only that, I thought they were fun to take and, to a certain extent, a little accurate. But I usually never gave them much thought afterwards and continued to take them just to pass time and to compare with friends.
Then I came across a personality test based on the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). It turns out that I was an INFJ, which in the MBTI stands for Introversion (as opposed to Extroversion), Intuition (as opposed to Sensing), Feeling (as opposed to Thinking), and Judging (as opposed to Perceiving).
Reading about the characteristics of an INFJ left me astonished. It felt like they were describing me on the page—every weird habit, every conflicting feeling. And what's more, my personality type only made up less than 1 percent of the population. I guess being told your personality is rare is a flattering thing, but in my case, it made me feel a little disheartened. There would be very few that would so wholly and implicitly understand me, much less my weird quirks and contradictions.
We have a hard time expressing our thoughts.
Sometimes things just make sense in our head, and when we try to express them in words...well, it doesn't come out the way we really want them to. Articulation isn't always our forte. People often get confused as to what we're really trying to say, and then we end up confusing them more once we try to explain what we meant. And sometimes we feel like you ended up revealing way too much about yourself, and you clam up, feeling like a doof. Social media doesn't really help with that.
We can be really outgoing at times but suddenly feel the need to be alone.
Though we're mostly just introverts, we have moments where we can mingle and be extroverts. I think of it as constantly maintaining a balance between enjoying others' company and enjoying your own company. We truly enjoy interacting with others, networking and building bonds, of course, but we also need moments of quiet, alone time to recharge. We cherish the moments we are with our loved ones, but we also cherish the moments where we can be alone and at peace. I promise it's nothing personal, it's just how we are.
We hate small talk.
The usual mundane, boring conversation starters are things we detest. I know for me personally, I wouldn't find it weird at all if someone were to confide in me about their personal goals or if they wanted to rant about something that bothered them. Even if it were someone I wasn't so close with, I'd still welcome it just as heartily. This is the kind of connection that we INFJs crave. Depth and sincerity are what attract us, not shallowness and half-heartedness.
We can be both idealistic and realistic at the same time.
We dream of ways our world can be made a better place for everyone, where everyone is treated just, where we aren't thrown into tasks like paying taxes or bills or mortgages or subjected to live under insanely corrupt and capitalistic conditions, but we also recognize the unlikelihood and hopelessness of the situation at hand. It's hard not to envision a perfect utopia on this earth for everyone, even if we know all too well that it's never going to happen. And that we are, sooner or later, going to have to face paying taxes, bills and mortgages.
Our intuition guides us.
To the point where we're quite stubborn with the thoughts and opinions we have. It's difficult to ignore the blatant red flags or positive signs that only we seem to see. We'll hear you out, which often leaves us feeling unsure and indecisive, but generally we'll end up going with our trusty gut instinct.
We have perfectionist tendencies.
The feeling of satisfaction is so sparse, especially under tight deadlines and pressure. And because of this, decision-making is even harder for us. Setting the bar too high is even more disastrous.
We often lose our sense of priorities under lots of stress.
Yes, in the midst of research papers, annotating novel-length readings, studying for upcoming tests or applying for summer internships, we're scrolling through cat memes. Or reblogging endlessly on Tumblr. Or going downstairs to the fridge for the third time to search for snacks. Or complaining to your friends in the group chat just how stressed you really are. Or disconnecting from everything, curling up in fetus position, and contemplating the meaning of your life and your existence overall.
We absorb and reflect the emotions around us.
If we know you're tense, we feel tense too. If you're enraged, we can't help but feel enraged too. And if you're happy and at ease, then so we shall be, even if we had other feelings before. We kinda take "I feel you" to a whole other level. We constantly seek to empathize with others and do whatever we can to please them.
However, honestly, despite all the strange habits and tendencies, I'm growing to love the person that I am. INFJs are also altruistic, determined, and resilient. We are capable of making a lasting, positive impact, and there's nothing else I'd rather do.
