To the young hearts who have lost a loved one

Many struggle everyday missing their best friend, their family member or even their significant other but being young and trying to understand why this has happened is difficult. Coping with this comes in all different forms.

The problem is being a teenager you tend to look for the wrong outlets and turn towards things that will not help take the sadness away.

Drowning your loved ones memories in that alcohol bottle is not going to cure your heart.

That temporary high is only going to make you have fun and forget the bad things for a little bit.

I know that it is difficult and you will never fully understand how this could have happened to such a special person but they would not want to see you harming yourself. Life is never going to be easy and it also will never be fair. We are all filled with unanswered questions when someone passes away but it is up to you how you carry yourself after a death. You have to find a healthy coping route because believe me when I say you will love a lot harder and be a better person when you continue to try to make that person proud who is watching you up above.

You may question your faith or be angry when this happens to you because you are trying to understand why but my advice to you is talk about it. Do not let it just bottle up inside you because you will burst eventually and you are going to hurt more people by pushing them away from you when nine times out of ten you actually need them to be your shoulder to lean on.

For me, coping came in what felt different than it had for others. I, of course, was devastated and was far from understanding why the Lord called him home that day but he had. What I did, was not give up, was not turn away from people and I definitely did not turn towards substances that harmed my body instead I pushed myself. I was not going to allow the sadness to beat me down and put me in a worse place. I held my head high and held onto the memories that mattered. I did not replay the memories of how the tragedy happened or his last looks. I replayed the laughter, the dancing and the services in church. I refuse to say that this was easy because there were times that I struggled and there were days I did not want to get up because I knew he was gone but I also knew that what he would have wanted and that would be for me to get up and share his life with others, although it was not as long as it should have been. When I had hard days I surrounded myself with happy people and people that made me better, I worked out, I played sports and I did the things that always made me happy.

So needless to say, it is hard to cope when you are finding yourself and looking for the answers as to why your best friend is no longer here with you but do not let that pain get the best of you because in time it will only get better but do not dig yourself a deeper hole to get out of once you figure out you have taken the wrong path. Take you and your loved ones memories and hold onto them and share them with others. No matter how much time passes you will always have difficult days but do not let them get the best of you. You are amazing and you are going to make a life for yourself, make it one that you and your loved one is proud of.