It has been known that there a very thick line between the dreamers and the realists. As Cam from "Modern Family" so profoundly said, “There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers, and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not, the opposite is true. See, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists? Well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.”
When I was younger, I was a stereotypical dreamer. I changed my mind constantly about what I wanted to do and how I was going to do it…with everything. I always thrived off my creativity and always wanted to find a new way to express it and see what else I could come up with. I was not afraid of a challenge, but I would often give up when I was bored and wanted something else. That was always how I lived my life, carefree and creative, with no real idea of what I really wanted to do. That all changed when I got to college.
Naturally, when college started I kicked it into high gear and became a neurotic little planner who always needed to know everything I was doing at least six months prior. No more dreams and going off on a creative whim. I became an extensive doer, planner, realist and as my friends now recognize me “the mother of group” due to my need to know where everyone is and what we’re doing at what moment and when. This is a fairly new persona for me. I have now perfectly fit into the stereotype of a realist. No room for “maybe” or “what if.” It’s either a plan or it’s a waste of my time.
I still have my moments of getting lost in my own imagination of what I can create and still dream of exciting ideas. It’s not easy just having these thoughts float around my head with my now diligent self who only likes to see one path in front of her instead of multiple. This is a direct result of my parents, two people who also define what a dreamer and a realist is.
My dad is the dreamer. He works as a rigging gaffer for the entertainment industry (he lights sets for movies and TV). My father comes up with a new invention or idea or plan almost everyday. He tells me that his mind never stops working. There is always a problem to be solved and a new way to make money. To his credit he has created his own business invention, The Solar Sign Light ™, that lights real-estate signs up with solar power. He has a couple other products in the works as well (that will not be named for patent purposes). My dad thrives off new possibilities and where he could take them. That’s where I got my creative and continuous imagination from when I was younger and at moments in my life now.
My mom is the realist. While she also works in the entertainment industry (25 years as a TV network executive and now an independent producer). She always has a plan and if something changes, she knows what to do before anyone else. She does not like spontaneity. She will tell you exactly what she thinks about anything you ask her. She is the one who has trained me in the art of planning ahead, making a decision (with weighing both the pros and cons) and organization. As she always reminds me, “You can’t think clearly if you’re space is not organized.” She is staunch and determined and knows how to get shit done. Basically, don’t mess with her.
So what happens when you combine a dreamer and a realist? You get me: A creative problem solver. An artist who worries a lot. There is constantly a battle with myself that has to plan perfectly for the future. I like to pretend I have an alphabetically organized mental file cabinet that has a plan for everything. There are those moments that I look out the window and dream about being the painter, fashion mogul, writer, that does not fit into any of those alphabetized plans, yet.
I have learned that I need to make room for both. My realist/planner side doesn’t like to make much room for my dreamer/creative side. So I forget to jump off the path I’ve made for myself and take an expressive break every once in awhile. It can be hard to break free from my routine, but then I begin to feel trapped which for me builds up my anxiety. I have to do something quick to really find some kind of inspiration for dreaming and not just reality. Trying a new restaurant, taking a walk, going to a museum or going shopping. Anything that isn’t a daily routine that always makes me think a certain way. The only way to get out of it is to remind myself that if I am being too much of a realist, then I need my dreamer side to help me get off the ground.
