Remember this formula M= P (D + F)

Growing up I was always told, "Failure is not an option," "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail," followed by the excessive repentance, "Try, try, try, again," or a generic motivational speech.

Anyways my point is that people are always trying to get you motivated by sharing their stories or what goals they had set to leave a situation instead of saying what steps they took to become motivated. I mean it's a good thing if you're easily motivated; but this is for all the people like me who need direction and not just ideas or really cool quotes/phrases.

Failure is, and always will be my biggest fear. I failed two classes in college, chemistry when I was a Science major and then Pre-Calc when I became a Math major. I was miserable because I felt as if I let down my mother, money was wasted, let all my supporters down, and most of all myself.

I had no motivation just a goal. Usually when you have a goal they say motivation should come easily. Truth is; it doesn't (for me). Sometimes just having a goal isn't enough.

D=Desperation

My friend once told me I wasn't desperate enough to do want needed to do. I never heard it used in a phrase like that. At the same time I understood what he meant. I felt embarrassed. In plain text he straight up told me I wasn't hungry, or serious enough to accomplish anything. I was being lazy and giving up before it even got hard enough. It was then; I came to the conclusion that desperation solely comes from a strong enough want. It doesn't have to be a direct correlation to you main goal; it can simply be correlated to anything you want badly enough. Once you taste the first victory of anything (meeting a deadline, refusal to accept failures and refusing contentment) you find yourself more desperate to taste or have that satisfactory feeling. You don't even have to be desperate to achieve just your main goal; you could be desperate to pass a class, or find motivation (my goal); the list is endless.

F=Fear

We all have our fears; especially when it comes to school and fearing you will end up in your family’s basement at 40, or be Bob from accounting with a gun cocked through his mouth because he didn't face his fears and played life far too safe.

Once you become desperate you start to find all sorts of adventures because you're finally leaving your comfort zone. I found myself finding endless amounts of different opportunities, new callings, and adventures. So, how does fear relate to adventures and new callings?

While finding new opportunities is good there's always the fear of messing it up, chasing that opportunity and/or deciding the better of multiple opportunities. Since finding a new way of thinking and becoming more motivated I found myself tackling complications head on. At first I avoided or put off these things because I was too afraid make a move always worrying about the outcome. Never filling my own satisfaction of saying I did it. Being scared shitless causes the flight or fight response; and in my case it was the flight. When nothing is going your way and when (in my case) suck it up because you could be far worse off than where you are now. I'm not talking about being stagnant; I mean dead. That isn't extreme. When you're scared all the time just know it obviously means you're doing the right thing. I'm not saying having confidence is bad either, but having fear proves that you do care; you are ready to kickass, have your ass kicked, or create a whole new chapter of approaches.

P=Passion

Passion, that's a new one right?

June 2016 I traveled to Nicaragua; to teach a bunch of wicked (cool) high school kids English. I won’t even get into all the preliminaries for the trip. I had this lesson planned for my Spanish speaking students; the idea was journaling. I had many doubters telling me they didn't understand the concept, and make suggestions without any knowledge of my plans. I felt incapable or as if I had incapable idiot written in bright red sharpie inked across my forehead. I will admit it probably is but not in red more so blue.

Although I had my doubters, I did not let that deter me in the end. At first I did begin to doubt myself; I worried that the students wouldn't understand me or like the activity, and let alone I couldn’t possibly lead a class of 35+ students. I had no choice but to believe in myself. I certainly refused to come this far to be told no, I refused to let people who barely know me allow their judgment prove correct, and so I had no choice but to be believe in myself, and I fought for it. This is when I realized I need more than desperation and fear. It was passion. The passion behind the desperation to getting away from contentment or stagnancy, and the passion behind every fearing decision that led me blindly is what bought me to where I am now. It led me to believing in myself and accepting that we all fail in our life at least once but it's the getting back up that means the most.

"Be savage conquering your weaknesses, and mercilessly to your fears."-Anonymous