We've all been there. Whether it's in a car during a road trip with friends, getting ready to go out during a pre-game, or worse, at a party with a bunch of strangers, there comes a time that separates the boys from the men. This test of strengths is called “being handed the aux cord" and the moments that are a vital test of good judgment and capabilities. Playing a good couple of songs can show everyone that you are understanding and can keep spirits alive, but playing the wrong tune can throw the whole night out of whack and make others reconsider your credibility. Let's take a closer look at the fifteen seconds following being handed the aux cord and the thoughts going through your head right now.
- 1. No no no no no no no no no no not me why God no why did I get chosen? I have NOTHING good on my phone to play. How is it possible? I'm cool. I'm hip. How is it that I don't have anything worthy to play from my phone?
- 2. Maybe if I pretend my phone is dead, I can get away with not playing anything. No, wait; I've been texting all night and that's why they handed me the cord. I never should have looked at Ashley's SnapChat Story. The thirty-four seconds of her playing with a dog and dancing at happy hour was not worth this punishment.
- 3. What should I play music from? I could go with Spotify, but I don't have Premium and while I could YouTube it, there's going to be a thirty second ad (thanks Vevo) and then I'll really look like a joke. iTunes it is.
- 4. Why the hell do I have my breakup playlist on my iPhone? I can't take more than five photos when I go out due to lack of storage, but I apparently at one point thought to have a collection of ballads in case I wanted a good cry on a bus ride. I can't believe I deleted Flappy Bird for this.
- 5. I could play something obscure that you can find a vinyl copy of at Urban Outfitters. But how obscure is too obscure? I could try to play something obscure, but what if it's not obscure enough? If I were my hipster roommate from freshman year, what would he play?
- 6. I could play my running playlist but to be honest, I can't remember the last time I actually used it for it's intended purpose. But I have to admit, making the playlist was a good way to procrastinate writing that English paper.
- 7. Didn't I download that one song I Shazzamed the other night at the bars? Scratch that, the song never showed up, but at least I was able to connect with the WiFi that night. Least they could do for those prices.
- 8. I could play some EDM, but I don't have anything except for that one song that sounds like “Old McDonald Had a Farm" because I downloaded the wrong one. How is it that I go out and attend music festivals, yet I have no EDM to play?
- 9. Wait, I could do a throwback! But how far back? The 90s seem to be doing well according to Date Function themes lately, but which song?
- 10. Maybe mid-2000s? That way it's still fresh on the mind but not so far back that you need to think about it. Or emotional. I sure do love Akon's “Lonely." I wonder what ever happened to Akon.
- 11. I could play the road trip mix. Everyone likes Mumford & Sons, right? But is that too kuum-bi-ya for this party?
- 12. I could play something country but that might change the whole vibe of the party. The very little country I have wouldn't even be considered real country. I don't want to look like a try-hard Southerner considering I own a Columbian fishing shirt despite never gone fishing.
- 13. I have decided this is the hardest decision I have ever made
- 14. Wait, I got it — the perfect song. The song that everyone in here will love. It's on the tip of my tongue. I'm thinking, I'm thinking. It's gone.
- 15. “Awe dang it, the cord won't fit with my case. Sorry."
It is impossible to please everyone in life, so maybe you could view the aux cord situation as an opportunity to play your favorite song ever that should already be on your phone. After all, some dude is going to inevitably steal the aux cord anyway, so you might as well enjoy your favorite song anyway. If you ask me, play R. Kelly's “Remix (Ignition)." You can thank me later.
