When we turn on the news, regardless of network or channel, we generally find two types of news stories. Either tragic accidents or hopeful events make up the primary content of the news network's airtime. However, often slipping under the radar due to less coverage is a third category of news stories: the truly bizarre.
1. Exploding Whale
In a state known for its progressive policies, it's no surprise that Oregon would be at the forefront of advanced oceanic disposal methods. During the 1970s, Florence, Oregon found itself with a large dead sperm whale beached on one of its, well, beaches. Usual methods of disposing of large dead animals involves cutting up the carcass, but the Oregon Department of Transportation (which was in charge of beaches at the time for some reason) said to hell with protocol. Instead of attempting to push the whale back into the ocean or bury the corpse, the ODOT crammed half a ton of explosives up its ass and lit the fuse.
They caught the results on film.
2. German student throws puppy at Hell's Angels Bikers then flees on bulldozer
This is possibly my favorite because it has all the elements of a made-up story without the made-up part. The 26-year-old student decided to moon a group of Hell's Angels that were parked in the town of Allenhausen. Apparently keen to shake off any would-be pursuers, the student, who was believed to have missed a dose of antidepressant medication, decided to hurl a puppy at the bikers before fleeing on a stolen bulldozer. In the first rational thought of his day, the boy realized that this was by far one of the least effective methods of escape and abandoned the bulldozer in the middle of the highway, causing a massive traffic jam.
Both the student and puppy were later taken in and both are doing fine.
3. Topless feminist disrupts psychic pig’s feeding time
This title is a bit misleading as the woman in question was seeking publicity and chose the pig as the means for exposure, both literally and figuratively. Evidently, Ukraine has a time-honored tradition of combining native superstition with their favorite sport. By giving the psychic pig Funtik two different feed bowls with the flags of the competing teams on them, the bowl he eats out of first is the winning team. During a game in 2012 between Portugal and the Czech Republic, Olexandra Nemchinova stormed the pen and whipped off her blouse in protest of the Ukrainian sex industry. After she was led out of the feeding pen, Funtik chose Portugal as the winner, who then proceeded to actually win.
4. Children evacuated from swimming pool after prosthetic leg is mistaken for pedophile
Some people are rude toward the disabled; apparently, in the United Kingdom this fear is magnified to an even greater degree. The students of Kings Hill Primary School were evacuated when teachers thought the abandoned prosthetic leg was a pedophile. The leg was found in a cubicle and mistaken for a person, which begs a few questions. The owner had apparently gone swimming and left the false limb behind. It was discovered by pool security, who confronted the inanimate object in what was probably the most disappointing standoff in history.
The story itself is highly reminiscent of an event that happened in Los Angeles with the release of "Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2," when a statue of a character from the game was mistaken for a gunman. The LAPD entered a tense but brief conflict with the inanimate statue before realizing their mistake.
5. Dolphins die of drug overdose at Swiss rave
The introduction of foreign substances into a culture has never ended well, be it smallpox to the native Americans or opium to the Chinese. Historically, these events coincided with tremendous loss of human life.
Switzerland, however, has trumped the rest of the world by introducing heroin to the animal kingdom. Two Connyland Marine Park dolphins, Chelmers and Shadow, both died several days after a nearby rented space was used for a rave party. Upon investigation of the bodies, it was found that they both contained large amounts of heroin substitute, leading staff to believe that several of the party-goers had dumped the drugs into the tank.
