It's that one friend who never shows up to meticulously planned outings. It's that one partner who never seems to follow through with their promises and will utter the words "I love you" but will never seem to be actually express these words in actions. It's that one family member who constantly puts you down and never thinks you're enough. It's that one teacher or professor who never believes in you and almost sets you up to fail. It's the people who will never think you are enough. These are the people who shouldn't be waited for anymore.
It may be hard to even see the times that they gaslight you or make you question your own sanity or when they carefully insert demeaning statements about you in conversations or never value your time and worth enough to be there for you. Eventually, over time, you'll see how you are less and less happy. You'll stop recognizing yourself after they twist your perception of your reality and self-image because of all the lies they've been telling you. They make you believe the pain you're holding back means you don't deserve to be happy and this type of relationship is what you deserve.
It's okay you'll tell yourself. This is how these types of relationships are. I can't hate my friend or family or partner or etc., that's not right. They aren't that bad. It's my fault, not theirs. I keep making lots of mistakes and this wouldn't happen if I wasn't who I am. There's always someone out there going through something worse. And these thoughts are the biggest mistakes. Being in a toxic relationship is never okay. Relationships are a two-way agreement, if one person decides to leave, it's over, no matter what society says the relationship should be like. It is never all our fault and people make mistakes, that's a part of life. These thoughts make us think that we have to be content being miserable. They make us think we have to settle for people who will never value us as much as we are worth, and that's why we have to leave when we recognize someone isn't good for us.
Our time is valuable, and we shouldn't have to be expecting cancellation of plans, unengaged conversations, or ignored messages from those who are valuable to us to the point we will never reach out to others again. Our emotions are precious and aren't meant to be contorted and played with to the point that we have no more self-love to give and are fearful of being vulnerable again. Our trust is never meant to be broken to a point that we have to continuously make excuses for them and will never be able to trust another again. Our love and all the care and time that comes with it is our most precious attribute. Our love shouldn't be stripped from us to the point we have no more left to give to ourselves and others in our lives and the new people we will find in the future who will really value us. We need to stand up for ourselves and say enough is enough.
It takes incredible strength to leave a toxic friendship or relationship. We are wrapped around their finger because they've made us believe we aren't enough, aren't lovable, and aren't sustainable without them by our side. But that is a lie. We were okay without them in our lives and will be okay now without them. You are strong. You are valuable. You are loved. If no one else in the world believes in you, at least have the strength to believe in yourself. You are worth more than to be disregarded constantly. You are worth more than what they have you believe. You are worth more than you think you are worth. You are worth happiness and love without them in your life. It's time to leave and live the life you deserve.
