Stop Waiting On People Who Don’t Think You’re Enough

It’s Time To Stop Waiting On People Who Don’t Think You’re Enough

It's that one friend who never shows up. It's that one partner who never seems to follow through with their promises. It's that one family member who never thinks you're enough.

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It's that one friend who never shows up to meticulously planned outings. It's that one partner who never seems to follow through with their promises and will utter the words "I love you" but will never seem to be actually express these words in actions. It's that one family member who constantly puts you down and never thinks you're enough. It's that one teacher or professor who never believes in you and almost sets you up to fail. It's the people who will never think you are enough. These are the people who shouldn't be waited for anymore.

It may be hard to even see the times that they gaslight you or make you question your own sanity or when they carefully insert demeaning statements about you in conversations or never value your time and worth enough to be there for you. Eventually, over time, you'll see how you are less and less happy. You'll stop recognizing yourself after they twist your perception of your reality and self-image because of all the lies they've been telling you. They make you believe the pain you're holding back means you don't deserve to be happy and this type of relationship is what you deserve.

It's okay you'll tell yourself. This is how these types of relationships are. I can't hate my friend or family or partner or etc., that's not right. They aren't that bad. It's my fault, not theirs. I keep making lots of mistakes and this wouldn't happen if I wasn't who I am. There's always someone out there going through something worse. And these thoughts are the biggest mistakes. Being in a toxic relationship is never okay. Relationships are a two-way agreement, if one person decides to leave, it's over, no matter what society says the relationship should be like. It is never all our fault and people make mistakes, that's a part of life. These thoughts make us think that we have to be content being miserable. They make us think we have to settle for people who will never value us as much as we are worth, and that's why we have to leave when we recognize someone isn't good for us.

Our time is valuable, and we shouldn't have to be expecting cancellation of plans, unengaged conversations, or ignored messages from those who are valuable to us to the point we will never reach out to others again. Our emotions are precious and aren't meant to be contorted and played with to the point that we have no more self-love to give and are fearful of being vulnerable again. Our trust is never meant to be broken to a point that we have to continuously make excuses for them and will never be able to trust another again. Our love and all the care and time that comes with it is our most precious attribute. Our love shouldn't be stripped from us to the point we have no more left to give to ourselves and others in our lives and the new people we will find in the future who will really value us. We need to stand up for ourselves and say enough is enough.

It takes incredible strength to leave a toxic friendship or relationship. We are wrapped around their finger because they've made us believe we aren't enough, aren't lovable, and aren't sustainable without them by our side. But that is a lie. We were okay without them in our lives and will be okay now without them. You are strong. You are valuable. You are loved. If no one else in the world believes in you, at least have the strength to believe in yourself. You are worth more than to be disregarded constantly. You are worth more than what they have you believe. You are worth more than you think you are worth. You are worth happiness and love without them in your life. It's time to leave and live the life you deserve.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Stand In The Mirror

An exercise in self-love.

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If you're reading this, then I want you to stop what you're doing right now, get up from wherever you're sitting, and go stand in the mirror.

Yes, that's right. Close your laptops, put down your phones, and walk to the closest bathroom, or vanity, or wherever else you can see your reflection the most clearly. Pretend like you're the only person in the world for a little while.

Are you there? Good.

Now I want you to look at yourself, very closely.

Start with your eyes. How beautiful they look underneath the light; you can see all their colors, just like a painting! Something that unique belongs in an art museum, don't you think?

Those eyes of yours have seen so many wonderful things. Think of all the sunsets they've allowed you to witness, all the times your best friends have grinned from ear-to-ear and all the books you've read.

Now, look at your lips. Think of all the lovely people they may have kissed, all the Thanksgiving dinners they've touched and all the funny faces they've helped you express.

Think all of the times they've opened to exude laughter and joy, to express awe and other associated feelings words cannot express.

Now it's time to examine your arms. Shrug your shoulders and admire the way they fall so gently at your sides, like water flowing from the mouth of a river. Think of all the wonderful things they've helped you to reach, of all the trees they've helped you climb and monkey bars they've helped you swing through. Think of all the people they've hugged, and all the dogs they've helped you pet.

Finally, move to your legs. Think of all the races they've helped you win, all the hurdles they've helped you jump through and all the lengths they've helped you swim.

Think of all the pristine places they've carried you to, and reflect upon all the places you'll soon be heading to.

Can't you see now that you're a masterpiece, dripping with color and beauty, emotion and experience, from every fiber of your being?

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