107 seconds. 107 seconds is all that stands between two Americans being sexually assaulted. If you're curious, that is about 293,000 sexual assaults per year. 293,000! That is absolutely terrifying. Sexual assaults should not be that prevalent, period. There is something wrong when one in six women and one in thirty-three men will experience sexual assault in their lifetimes. The worst part? 68% of those sexual assaults are not reported to the police and 98% of rapists never go to prison.
At least half of the six reasons listed above for sexual assaults being under reported can be explained by America's victim blaming culture. What is victim blaming? Victim blaming is placing any amount of responsibility (no matter how big or small) for the sexual assault on the victim. That means that sexual assaults do not get reported because society makes excuses for the rapist. This sounds ridiculous, right? There is no way that anyone would blame victims for a horrific act that was out of their control. That may be the worst part about victim blaming. It is so ingrained in American culture, that some people do not even realize that they are doing it.
What was the victim wearing? What was the victim doing? How drunk was the victim? Victim not Assailant. The first instinct that people have is to put the blame on the victim, whether they know it or not. Their first instinct is to question what victims could have done to make the rapists assault them. They don't ask: Is the victim okay? Did the victim get help? Did they find and arrest the assailant? These are the correct questions to ask. You should be concerned for the victim's well-being. You should be concerned for justice. You should not be concerned about what the victim was wearing, or doing, or what the victim's alcoholic level was. It doesn't matter. Sexual assault is the fault of the assaulter, no excuses. If rapists cannot "control their urges" around a victim, that is in no way the victim's fault. If a rapist cannot take no for an answer, that is not the victim's fault.
No means no. No does not mean yes, or maybe, or later. Consent means that both parties say yes--a yes that is made out of free will. Consent cannot be given when being coerced. Consent cannot be given when under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Consent cannot be given when unconscious. Once consent is given, it can be taken away at any time. If you are told to stop, you stop. If your partner becomes unconscious during the act, you stop. And if you are still confused about what counts as consent, you should watch this video about consent that they showed us in my University 101 class.
With that being said, if the victim does not give consent, then the victim is not at fault. The victim did not ask for it. The victim was not a tease. The victim's clothes were not too short or revealing. The victim was not too drunk. The victim should not have expected it to happen.
The impact that victim blaming has on sexual assault victims is horrific. They have already been through a traumatic event that no one should have to face in their lifetime, and we should be trying to help them, not tear them down. Victim blaming causes victims to blame themselves. It causes them to wonder where they went wrong, what they could have done to prevent it. It makes them scared of how others will react, scared of others calling them promiscuous and looking upon them with disgust. It makes them feel as if they have no choice in the matter. Everyone blames them anyways, so what good will reporting the assault do? The police won't believe them. Their friends and peers won't believe them and wasn't it their fault anyways? Didn't they provoke the rapist? Didn't they give the rapist mixed signals?
Victim blaming is why so many sexual assaults don't get reported. Some victims don't think that they should report the assault because they blame themselves. Some victims don't report the assault because they are afraid of everyone knowing and blaming them. Some victims don't report the assault because they have seen what happens to other victims who have. They have seen other victims report their assaults to the police and be cast aside. They have seen other victims be questioned about "their responsibility" in the assault. Most importantly, they have seen rapists go free because society is more willing to blame the victim than the assailant.
The bottom line is that victim blaming has to stop. Because of victim blaming, rapists are going free. Because of victim blaming, victims of sexual assault feel alone and guilty. Because of victim blaming, victims of sexual assault suffer more emotional damage on top of the trauma that they already experienced from the sexual assault. Because of victim blaming, victims of sexual assault are suffering.
