People Who Hurt You Don't Deserve a Thank You

We Need To Stop Saying Thank You To The People Who Hurt Us In The Past

Never thank someone for creating a negative situation within your life.


I see articles around here where people talk about past people who've hurt them. Every time, the article or headline says, "you hurt me, but thank you for teaching me XYZ."

Screw that.

Yes, you learned something from the experience. But why on earth are you thanking someone who created a toxic and negative situation that never should have occurred in the first place?

If you hurt someone, you don't deserve a "thank you." We shouldn't be saying that to people who made a major negative impact on our lives just because we came out of it having learned something.

I think it's ridiculous that people think saying "thank you for teaching me XYZ by doing what you did" is a sign of growth. You're literally thanking someone for hurting you just because YOU learned how to derive something out of whatever happened. Not everyone who gets hurt by someone else takes something away from the experience.

The person(s) who hurt you didn't teach you anything. You chose to take something away from a negative situation.

They just created the situation where you were forced to learn whatever you came out knowing. And you shouldn't have had to learn anything as a result of a negative situation.

People in my past hurt me. I'm not going to thank them for inducing mental and emotional torment. I'm not going to thank them for messing with my head and stabbing me in the back.

I'm not going to thank the kids at my old school for making me feel isolated and weird. I'm not going to thank people who made me feel I was wrong for believing differently, for ostracizing me and worsening my mental health. I'm not going to thank the former friends who dropped me without warning, making me feel like I was unwanted. Like something was wrong with me and others didn't want to be friends with someone "off" like me.

I'm not going to thank the "friends" who made me feel judged all the time. I'm not going to thank them for choosing someone else over me, clearly showing I wasn't important or worth keeping around to them. I'm not going to thank them for breaking my trust to its very core. I'm certainly not going to thank people who caused me to enter the worst mental state in years, who ultimately led to my return to therapy after years of not going.

People who hurt me, made me hate myself, broke my trust, destroyed my self-confidence, and wreaked havoc on my mental health don't deserve a "thank you." I can't thank people who negatively impacted my life just because I learned things down the line.

They had no part in that, and I won't thank them for forcing me to learn things due to the negative and toxic situations they created.

Stop thanking people in your past who hurt you. There are other words we could be using instead of "thank you," and you could say exactly what you want to say on how you've grown since whatever happened without using the phrase "thank you."

But never, ever thank people for creating a negative and toxic situation.

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Anxiety Medications Aren't As Scary As You Might Think

It took me about 2 months to even find the right medication and dosage. It's truly a process.


Before my journey with anxiety, I was very anti-medication. I truly didn't understand the purpose or need for it. Boy, have I learned a lot since then. Upon visiting the doctor, I learned that there are two types of medication that do two different things to the neurotransmitters in your brain. These are categorized as SSRI or SNRI. According to, "SSRIs increase serotonin in the brain. Neural systems affected by increased serotonin regulate mood, sleep, appetite, and digestion."

The medication that I am currently taking falls under the category of SSRI. As a result of taking this medication, "your brain is more capable of making changes that will lead to a decrease in anxiety" ( I don't know if that sounds nice to you, but I loved the sound of it.

On the other hand, per, SNRIs "ease depression by impacting chemical messengers (neurotransmitters) used to communicate between brain cells. Like most antidepressants, SNRIs work by ultimately effecting changes in brain chemistry and communication in brain nerve cell circuitry known to regulate mood, to help relieve depression."

From my understanding, the different types of medication focus on different neurotransmitters in your brain. I don't think that one of these is "bad" and one of these is "good." This is simply because anxiety and depression are very personal and impact people differently. My anxiety is not the same as my friend's anxiety. I think it's more of a spectrum.

There are a lot of misconceptions upon starting medication. I think the first is that it works instantly. I have some bad news and it's that some medications take up to a month to get into your system. I mean, you're chemically altering your brain, so it makes sense. It took me about 2 months to even find the right medication and dosage. It's truly a process.

Another misconception is that the pills are addicting- making them completely unnecessary or dangerous. That wasn't true for me. One of my dear friends told me that if you don't feel guilty for taking cold medicine when you have a cold, then you shouldn't feel guilty for taking medication that helps your anxiety. I think this really does boil down to knowing yourself and if there's a history of addiction in your family. However, as someone who's taken the heavy pain killers (via surgery) and now takes anxiety medication, I can testify to say that there's a difference.

The pain killers made me a zombie. The anxiety medication allows me to be the best version of myself. I like who I am when I'm not constantly worried about EVERYTHING. I used to not leave the house without makeup on because I constantly worried what people thought of me. I used to be terrified that my friends didn't want me around. I used to overthink every single decision that I made. Now, none of that is happening. I enjoy my friends and their company, I hardly wear makeup, and I'm getting better at making decisions.

Do I want to be able to thrive without having to correct my neurotransmitters? Sure. However, this is the way that I am, and I wouldn't have gotten better without both therapy and medication. I'm forever grateful for both.

Editor's note: The views expressed in this article are not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

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