We've all heard of kink-shaming, and people tend to joke around about that but what people never talk about is rape-shaming. We can't sit here and pretend like it doesn't exist because it does. After a sexual abuse event, the girl or guy is told to stay quiet about it and don't say anything to anyone.
Well, why does this happen? Most of the time when people are told to be quiet it's because they're on a college campus and many college campuses, especially big name ones, don't want to get a bad reputation for rapists. But surely, they'd rather have the victim commit suicide from the abuse eating them alive from the inside out.
Telling a victim to be quiet can affect them in many ways. First of all, telling them to be quiet will give them the impression that they don't want to be heard or that no one is listening. This then, gives them the impression that they are a burden and shouldn't be asking for help. The truth is, they have never been a burden and they will never be a burden.
Second of all, the victim's thoughts will eat them from the inside out. They will first begin to believe that they're lying to themselves and that it never actually happened, when it did happen. Then, they will begin to believe they are worthless and that no one cares about them and no one will ever care. This leaves them absolutely hopeless. No one should ever be left hopeless, especially when they have the strength to tell their story.
Last, but not least, the victim will shut down. They'll believe every word they've been told and they'll feel every sense of pain they felt in that abusive moment. Ultimately, they will feel their pain over and over again while flashbacks play in their minds. The mind takes over these situations and becomes more powerful than the body could ever be.
We shouldn't be telling these brave people to be quiet. We should be encouraging them to speak up and tell their stories so people know that it happens. It happens to all kinds of people, unfortunately, and it's something everyone needs to hear at one point in their life. No one believes it will happen to them, until it does. Encourage them to be brave and to teach the world. The world should be their safety net not a place for them to rot in.
