Lately it seems that there is shaming for just about everything.... slut, virgin, partying, gay, feminism... you name it, there is some type of shaming that probably goes along with it.
So what about study shaming? Yes, shaming someone for studying too much. It is an actual thing and I encounter it all the time. I completely understand the benefits of taking study breaks and doing fun things for yourself, so you do not get burnt out, and I know that they are critical so we do not crash. However, the amount of time someone spends studying has a lot of factors that influence it (major, classes, difficultly of material, job).
So, the fact that the content that I am learning in my classes is harder as well as more intense than someone who is in a different major than me, has a lot to do with the decisions I make. I've been told everything from, "You need to get a life" to, "You study way too much." Although these remarks may not of been maliciously intended, they still did hurt my feelings.
The way I see it is: why make me feel bad when I am doing something positive to promote my future? Why shame me for doing something that will increase my understanding of material? Why shame me for doing something that is decreasing my level of anxiety because I will feel more prepared for exams?
I will not apologize or feel bad for the fact that my social life may seem like it is lacking. I will not allow myself to feel bad about the fact that I missed a party or an opportunity to hangout with my friends because I have a test the next day. Why you may ask? Well because there will always be another party, there will always be another chance to hangout with friends... but there will never be a time to retake a test.
One may say that I can always pull my grade up if I do bad on one quiz or one exam, and yes, that is true. However, why take my chances with that? Why should I feel like I have to put myself in the position to fight the rest of the semester because I did not study as hard as I could of for a test?
As long as I know I tried my best, that is all that matters. Yes, it may be disheartening if I do not make the grade I felt like my hard work reflected, but I can take pride in the fact that I studied as much as possible. Now, if the tables are turned, and I know for a fact that I did not study as much as I could of, the only person I have to blame is myself.
Most college degrees take anywhere from 3-6 years to fully complete. I am more than willing to give up that little fraction of my life in order to ensure a fully productive and secure future. Do not get shame me because my grades are possibly higher than yours. Do not shame me because I do not go out all the time. I do not think I am better than you. We are just simply different. We choose to spend our time in different ways, and that is perfectly okay.
Because at the end of the day, making someone feel bad about things they do or do not do, will not make them want to do the opposite.