Our generation is changing rapidly. The dynamics of our culture are not the same they were 10, 20, or 30 years ago. And change is good, but sometimes the stereotypes that come with change are not.
Teenagers and adults in their 20's are characterized as these beings with hormones that are raging who are just looking to get drunk. While that may be true to some degree, these are also some of the most influential years of our lives. With these years comes a lot of firsts: first jobs, first kisses and our first times. Wither that first time having sex is with someone you truly care about or just a hookup in a backseat, it will always be your first.
Everyone has their reasons for having sex with someone. And everyone has a right to those reasons, even if you do not personally agree with them. However we live in a world that prides its self on selling sex, but also tells us to stop slut shaming. And in the next breath we are all told to keep ourselves pure.
So then why are girls and guys ashamed of the fact they have waited to have sex? If slut shaming is viewed as wrong, shouldn't virgin shaming be too? I mean, everyone has their reasons for having sex, but that also means everyone has their reasons for waiting.
These reasons could go back to childhood trauma, religious beliefs/morals or just simply that the person hasn't been with anyone they feel comfortable having sex with yet. You see virginity is not some disease to be scared off by, and it's not a trophy to be stolen from someone either. Those who get picked on about their virgintiy are either going to rush into sex or be pushed away from the whole idea of sex.
Quite frankly, sex is a big deal. It involves you and that person together in an intimate moment. You can never take that moment back, and you want to make sure you can trust the person to love and cherish your mind, heart, and body. No strings attached never works out well in the end. Our minds our not programmed that way.
Just because someone is a virgin does not mean they are sheltered, dumb or "innocent." Just because someone has had sex does not mean they are "bad" or "dirty." Someone's sex life really is none of our business unless we are in a committed relationship with them.
In the end, we are all human beings with our own stories. So stop shaming people for being virgins. Stop shaming people for sleeping around. That is their business and not yours. But think about the power of your words and the stereotypes that they create.
Sex is something we will all experience at some point in our lives, we just need to make sure it is "right". You, yourself know what is right for you. That is a standard you hold yourself to, and that is okay. Regardless if you have had sex or not, do not shame someone for wanting to wait. That is their decision, not yours.
Once again, being a virgin is okay, and not being a virgin is okay too. Maybe we need to change the way we look at sex, instead of just seeing everyone as a "body count."
