We're in a weird day in age where it's so incredibly normal to "talk" to people. It's not quite dating, so there really isn't a huge commitment to the person, but it's more than casual. You tend to spend your time consumed with this one person, waiting on DMs, texts, or calls from them, hang out every now and then, or sometimes a lot in a short period of time, and it feels like such a rush of emotions.

Then the ghosting happens. They drop off the map and you don't hear from them for a few days or even weeks, but you still have that lingering hope and feeling that they'll come back around. Then boom, they call one night, or text or message you, and it's like you were suddenly put back together after weeks of anxiously waiting for them. Sometimes this becomes a pattern with someone you like, which makes your whole "relationship" feel like one big roller coaster.

These types of relationships shouldn't be romanticized.

This person literally is playing with your head. Is it a rush? Sure. That's probably why we look back and think it was some great roller coaster of a relationship and we constantly long for their attention or to get some type of closure. We think this person is the one that got away because they left without any explanation. We think there is something wrong with us because we didn't hear from them for a long period of time, or we simply never heard from them at all. It messes with our head and turns us into a ball of anxiety and stress. It turns us into someone who thinks we aren't good enough or someone who then worries and acts differently toward our next relationship because of how these ghostings affected us.

Does that sound like romance to you?

No. This is not romantic. It is not the great love that we've all been waiting for. If it was the great love you've been waiting for, would you be sitting by your phone waiting for a call? Would you be playing the who-cares-less game, and be pretending you never really cared even though it's eating you alive inside? Would you feel like you weren't good enough or feel like there was something wrong with you just because they never called or texted you back? Let me make this perfectly clear:

The answer is no.

Now, call me old school, but romance is when they buy you flowers just because they were thinking it would make you happy. Romance is when you get picked up for a date. Romance is when they tell you that they want to be with you and you two commit to one another. Romance is whatever you determine it to be, but at the end of the day, they aren't ghosting you. It makes you feel special. It makes you feel loved. It makes you feel like you're dizzy because this person is treating you better than you've ever been treated before.

Stop romanticizing non-relationships with people who don't know how to tell you they just don't see this going anywhere. Stop romanticizing someone making you feel less than special. Stop romanticizing something that is not romantic.

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