College Students: Stop Complaining and Try This Instead

College Students: Stop Complaining and Try This Instead

We can't help it sometimes. But this (instead) would help our lives get so much better.

I sit here in my dorm room in the student center of my college campus. I sit here and I remember, I remember what I’ve been hearing.

Certain phrases about the same ideas keep tumbling out of people’s mouths. They tumble from so many people who are so different, but the messages are so similar.

They are complaints.

And the complaints are about central topics. Sitting here, I’ve got to thinking. Maybe some of these elements we (apparently) are so irritated about can be turned around; we can turn them around for areas to give us energy instead of places to make us frustrated.

Here are two of the most common complaints that could use a perspective shift:

1. Our Tiredness

Yes, college can mean a ton is happening and you hardly have the energy to keep up, let alone thrive. You have assignments due, a job to do, a meeting to attend, a campus event, a club to join, a mile to run, an internship to apply for, and a social life to somehow manage.

Sleep seems to often get pushed to the bottom of this list. And tiredness? Well, it almost becomes a “trophy” that we throw around as a complaint. “How are you?” “Oh good, just tired…” Sometimes, the “trophy” becomes a little too heavy, though, and we honestly wish we didn’t carry it. “I’m just so tired today…”

Well, reality is, the amount we sleep (like anything else in our life) actually is up to our own personal choice. Even if it is homework that’s keeping us up, we still could choose to sleep instead. Often, it’s not just homework that’s keeping us from shut-eye. Life and all that is meant by living is impetus to stay awake for it.

What if we, then, instead, choose to change our conversation? What if we focused on the reasons for our tiredness instead of its negative effects?

“How are you?” “Well, I didn’t get as much sleep as I needed, but you know I was able to have a solid conversation with my roommate, and that made it so worth it...”

We can choose to stop complaining about how much we have going on and how tired that makes us.
We can choose, instead, to focus on enjoying each aspect of the life that is keeping us from sleeping.
We can choose to focus on the happiness of living life as fully as we can instead of making life seem empty by focusing on the bad: the irritation of tiredness.

2. Other People

“Did you see what she did?” “Did you hear about what he said?” “Can you believe she actually would think that?”

College campuses mean college people: people with different values, views, and lifestyles than you may have.

Chances are, with all the variety, you have found some aspects of people that you absolutely love and wish you were more like.

But chances also are, with all the variety, you find aspects of people that drive you a little crazy and that you really don’t appreciate.

It’s easy to focus your words on pointing out these aspects that you don’t find as positive. It’s easy to criticize and complain about other people (especially when they hurt you or threaten your way of life or happiness).

Each one of us chooses our words, though.

What if we, instead, made a different choice?

What if we didn’t only point out the elements that irritate us about other people, but pointed out something we appreciate about them, too?

“She always has the smarty answer in class, but you know, I am thankful that she’s brought up some points that made the professor specifically talk about what’s going to be on the exam.”

We can choose to stop focusing on what we don’t like about other people who are different than us.
We can choose, instead, to talk about aspects of these people that are good.
And—maybe most importantly—we can choose, instead, to actually stop complaining about these people but talking to them.

We can stop complaining. We can change our conversations. And maybe—if we did this—we could change more.

The way we view our lives could start to change and be colored by more thankfulness.

They way we view others could start to change, and would could start appreciating and helping the people around us.

The choice is ours.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Thank You, Kevin Love, For Putting The Spotlight On Mental Health

No one deserves to go through their struggles alone.

Having a conversation about mental health is not always easy. Many times, mental health is overlooked and can be viewed as not being as serious as one’s physical health. The conversations surrounding mental health need to happen more often because of the detrimental effects that poor mental health can have on people’s lives.

Recently in the news, Kevin Love, a power forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team, has revealed his mental health struggle. For those who have not yet read his statement, Love mentions that he had a panic attack during a basketball game. Through the encouragement of hearing the words of another NBA player, DeMar DeRozan, discuss his mental health struggles, Love gained the courage the speak up.

Oftentimes, it seems like athletes and other celebrities are all put together. They seem perfect, like nothing is going wrong in their lives. However, no matter how much money someone makes or how much fame they have achieved, they still experience normal, everyday struggles. Mental illnesses don’t care about the amount of money being made or the status that a person has achieved in society.

Mental illnesses can affect everyone. The same mental illnesses that can affect a homeless person living on the streets can also affect an athlete that makes over $20 million per year. The discussion around mental health can create connections that people may never even believe were there before. No matter who a person is or what they’re doing in life, isolating themselves and staying silent about their internal struggles will only make the journey with a mental illness more difficult.

With this being said, I want to say thank you to Kevin Love for speaking out for all people that have struggled or are currently struggling with one or multiple mental illnesses. Seeing a beloved athlete share their struggle can inspire people of all backgrounds and walks of life to share their own struggles and get the help that they need and deserve. Kevin Love is someone who I would want my future children to look up to. Our society needs to work to eliminate the stigma of mental health. It’s serious, and it’s time that we treat it that way.

Thank you, Kevin Love. Through his story, hopefully, more people will have the courage to speak out. He is admirable and demonstrates that anyone can be affected by a mental illness. If you are reading this and you believe you need help, seek it out. There is nothing wrong with trying to better yourself for you and all of the people in your life.

No one, no matter their status, occupation, or background, deserves to feel lonely. We need to normalize discussions about mental health so that those who are struggling and suffering do not have to go through it alone.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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7 Tips Every Young Girl Needs To Know To Guide Herself Through Life

Most Importantly, you are not alone

To be honest, growing up is hard. You are constantly guided on who to be and how to act without really gaining a sense of who you are. During that time, you are maturing into yourself and sometimes your own skin feels foreign. As a teenage girl, it is difficult to notice your value and beauty when there is constant competition with other girls. It is embedded into us at a young age and personally, I wish I knew the things then that I know how to help me better understand certain things. Here are seven tips that I want every young girl to hear:

1. It’s your body, so love it!

Society has its way of making everything about the female body its business. Well, it’s not. Girls you are special right now, just as you are. Do not listen to other’s opinions on what they think is beautiful or not. Only your opinion matters. Your body belongs to you and was given to you for a reason. Honor it and treasure every inch of it and imperfections will not exist

2. Friends over foes

Let’s face it guys can be mean but, girls can be worse. It’s easier to stay with the crowd over being alone. Yet, better friends do come along so never settle for less than what you deserve. In the meantime, be your own best friend!

3. You deserve to be treated better!

You owe it to yourself to never allow others to treat you with anything less than respect. You can teach people how they should treat you. But do not waste your time teaching someone how to be a friend, a boyfriend or anything else. Let them know you deserve better only to an extent. You have more control than you can imagine how others perceive you

4. Self-acceptance = Self-confidence

The first thing to really being yourself is accepting who you are. Be aware of your strengths and weaknesses in order to grow and learn from them. Your happiness depends on you and your mental outlook on who you are. Once you accept who you are, you can embrace the queen you actually are and that confidence is the best feeling.

5. High school doesn’t last forever.

Let's be real. High school can feel like everything is permanent. But to be honest, after high school everyone moves on to new lives and the person they were in high school becomes irrelevant. Everything they think of you will fade so try not to focus too much on what they think of you.

6. It’s OK to say no.

Being young has so many opportunities, especially in the dating world. Today, people make anything sexually seem normal or cool. But that does not mean it is. Not everyone is on the same level, so it does not matter if everyone is doing it. It’s okay to be uncomfortable and it’s okay to say no. Remember, you have the choice.

7. You are not alone.

Most importantly, you are not alone. Everyone is going through almost half of the things you experience on a daily basis. I try to remind myself every day that no matter how sad or low I am feeling, others feel the same way and I make an effort to reach out. I think it is important to make others feel just as important and accepted. Embrace your community of young girls.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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