“Guys, oh my god, look at this,” he passes his phone around the table. Shocked faces and unwarranted laughter ensue.
“Um, wow, what would her mother think of this,” one girl says, shaking her head, sending the phone to the next person.
On the screen there’s a photo of an 18-year-old, modeling an elaborate set of lingerie. The phone circles back to its owner who starts up again, “I can’t believe that’s her profile picture,” he says, blaming the victim, “girls post stuff like this and then they wonder why boys send them suggestive comments and messages.” Blaming the innocent girl, of age, choosing to do what she wants with her body. Blaming the one who knows she’s putting herself out there, who’s doing this because she feels good about her body when society tells her to feel bad about it. Don’t blame the ones causing the problem—the instigators and perpetrators, the ones who are rapists and get half an already short sentence. But you only said some words and you'd never actually harass anyone. You've caused no harm, right?
Wrong. Justifying harassment adds to the problem, even though no harassing is being done and you're only using words. That normalizes a harmful action, making it seem like an everyday occurrence that's just part of life and should not be seen as a serious issue.
When girls post any kind of photo of themselves, they shouldn’t feel as though they are at risk or need to second guess and over think what shirt they should wear in a selfie because it might be slightly too low cut.
We’re told that women need to cover up, that we need to keep our legs closed, even when wearing pants. We’re told that we’re “whores” and “sluts” if our clothes are a bit too tight. We’re told that we need to wear makeup to be pretty, but boys love a girl who shows off her natural beauty (which actually means “just enough makeup to cover the ‘imperfections’”). We’re told that no man will want us if we dress like prudes. We’re told that only bad men will want us if we show too much skin. We’re told to carry pepper spray and a knife if we dare go out at night. Travel in packs and ignore the cat calls. Don’t stand up for yourself, men don’t like a bitch. Here’s how to fight back when a man pulls you into the bedroom. Girls post stuff like this and then they wonder why boys send them suggestive comments and messages. It was her fault she got raped, she shouldn’t have been dressed like that. She was asking for it.
Someone drives their car off the road, smashing it into a building and then says that the building was at fault for the crash. Was the building asking for it?
