Slut-Shaming Influences Self-Esteem In Girls

Slut-Shaming Influences Self-Esteem In Girls

The truth behind slut-shaming.
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Slut shaming and the double standard have been a common occurrence in this day and age. Slut shaming is defined as an act of making any person feel guilty or inferior for certain sexual behaviors or desires, but lately, it has included shaming women for having certain body types, too. It affects girls from middle school to high school and continues on into college and the adult world. Girls are shamed for having sex, for having a larger chest or for how they dress.

We see it not just real life, but in movies, music and books as well. These have an effect on the people who watch television shows or read books that contain slut shaming which many do. Girls do it to other girls, guys do it to girls and even school official’s slut shame with dress codes, but they do not realize the repercussion that it has on an adolescents or adult’s self-esteem and self-confidence.

Statistics explain that in middle school and high school, 46 percent of the girls were slut shamed, which is two times more than guys. This is a form of bullying that has caused many negative consequences. It shows in the facts -- 37 percent of girls did not want to go to school and felt sick to their stomach, 22 percent of girls has trouble studying and even 11 percent of girls stayed home from school. This shame they experience affects their whole life, not just their self-esteem, but also their education and health. Girls all over are being shamed by not just their peers, but their school administrators for their clothing choice for school.

When did enforcing the school dress code turn to shaming girls and making them feel awful? We have seen all over in the news how school administrators have sent girls home for leggings or for shoulders showing. A case in an Illinois school explains a case where two 12-year-old girls were wearing the exact same pair of shorts, yet, only one got asked to change. You ask why? It is because one of the girls had a different body shape than the other.

When Bond was asked how she felt about the slut shaming and the situation she said, “For me, it’s about shaming girls about their bodies. It’s this message across genders that girls have to cover up, and teachers saying to girls, the reason for this rule is so that boys aren’t distracted.”

Girls are sent home form school and made to wear a different type of clothing in fear of distracting boys by wearing shorts or showing shoulders. Is it fair that we have to dress differently in fear of distracting guys and then feel shamed for wearing a certain article of clothing no matter the body type? Girls have to leave school for clothing missing class and tests while the guys stay. This is not the only consequence girls face.

The newspaper at Worcester State College featured an article that discussed the shame women endure. In cases with harassment and rape, the article explains that a woman’s reputation can also be used as 'evidence' against her when it comes to cases of rape and harassment. What is her sexual history? What is her reputation? What was she wearing? How many partners has she had? This is just one affect of the bullying. A girl with a reputation with of being slutty is taken as a less credible source in cases of harassment and rape. How is that just to ask about a girl’s sexual history when she says she is raped.

Marissa Robert of Worcester State College states, “In a culture that holds women to an impossible double standard, all too comfortably accepts sexual abuse and rape, as well as holds a mindset of victim blaming, we should analyze and consider what is really being said when we use and accept the word 'slut.' We need to clarify the meaning of the word slut and stop using it. It has caused so many issues in woman’s life by ruining their reputation and credibility which affects their life in serious matters."

The taunts and harassment women get, leads to worse things such as suicide. A 15-year-old from Staten Island committed suicide after being slut shamed at school. She allegedly had sex with four football players at once at party and was harassed at school for the incident. The four football players she had sex with were doing a fair share of the harassment. How could the guys who she allegedly had sex with harass her for sleeping with them so much that she committed suicide and have the school join in on her torment? It is d

espicable. Sara Imparato, a class mate of the victim said about the incident, “They were torturing her… How can you go through life being verbally assaulted like that? These guys are cruel and malicious."

This leads to the importance of teaching men and boys of all ages how slut shaming causes such irreversible damage.

This correlates with the double standard that if a girl sleeps around, she is a slut, but if a guy sleeps around, it is no big deal. It is seen all through out college that women who sleep with guys are judged more harshly judged. In a study done by the University of Illinois, they found that men express more sexual freedom. They interviewed 51 college students and 25 college alumni who concluded their experiences in college. In another study in the psychology of women quarterly, it explains that mixed messages are sent. Women are encouraged in college to “go have fun,” but then they get judged for it. How is that fair?

The lesson in this is to think before you say, “You are such a slut,” or calling someone a slut based on what they wear or how they act. These actions could have irreplaceable consequences for women, causing shame, suicide and a ruined reputation with lasting repercussions. This is a serious matter that people need to start taking more seriously.

Cover Image Credit: i.ytimg.com

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.
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It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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To The Girl Who Believes That Feminism Is A Lost Cause: It's Unfortunate You Can't See How Infinitely Capable Women Are

You said I am being too hopeful. You said that there is no point. I say you're wrong.
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It was a seemingly boring day. Most of us had just finished our state-based EOC's, but there were bigger fish to fry: Advanced Placement Exams would be starting the following week. These exams would determine whether we got the college credits for the college courses we had been straggling through all year. A group of my female classmates and I were taking a five minute break from studying in our AP U.S. History class when we got into a deep conversation about the Indian culture.

One of my classmates was asking simple questions about what the Indian culture was like; things like marriages, different societal expectations and other cultural differences came about into the conversation.

The conversation eventually moved to focus on education and dream colleges. The girl sitting behind me asked another one of my classmates if she had heard anything from the Emory Summer Program. They started talking about certain residencies they planned on doing, and I tuned out of the conversation.

That was until I heard this: "Did you know they don't bring girls down to see surgery? Only guys."

I turned around, and scoffed.

"Are you serious? Why would they do that?"

They both explained to me that something had happened in which Emory had brought a girl and a guy down to a surgery, but both of them fainted — or at least that's what they heard. The girl sitting behind me went on to say "girls are just more prone to fainting."

What? Listen, I may not be a biology major, but —

"I thought you said the guy fainted too?" I countered. She shrugged her shoulders, and said one sentence:

"It's not like girls can become surgeons anyways."

Seriously? I took a deep breath and said slowly,

"I think girls and guys can both become surgeons regardless of sex. They're both just as capable."

She argued with me that "statistically" guys had more of a chance to become a surgeon. That girls have no chance because universities looked for guys. That not many girls even tried to go the surgery field. She said there was a reason why she chose to not become a surgeon. Again and again, she said that girls had no chance in a male-dominated field.

She insisted that I was being too hopeful. That "realistically" changes in women's rights would not come in our generation but rather in our children's generation. That there was a reason why in history, men were better known than women. That there was a reason why men and women had separate events in athletic competitions.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But then again, it made sense, right? The reasons why women still have to fight so hard for things such as equal pay — it's because thoughts like these still plague our society.

I was left speechless. My APUSH teacher appeared from behind me almost two seconds later. He asked her:

"Have you ever heard the story of Billie Jean King? The famous female tennis player who beat a man — I can't remember his name — but he said awful things about women and how weak they were."

She shook her head and stuttered out a "no," and he simply replied,

"It's a really impressive story," before walking away.

So, "statistically," sure, men may dominate the field of surgery. But they also dominate the fields of business (did you know there are only 27 women on the Fortune 500 list?) law enforcement, criminal law, the military or any STEM careers, etc.

This does not mean women are not capable of doing those jobs; it's the part of society that still believes we live in the stone age who thinks women are not capable of arguing in front of a judge or saving someone's life in the ER.

My all-time favorite quote is something my mother said two years ago when Trump won the presidency:

"It's not the women who are not ready for America; it's America who's not ready for the women."

And yes, I am hopeful. I am optimistic. Because so much has changed, but there's still a lot more to do for women. You say that that change cannot come in our generation but rather our children's — that mindset is the reason why we still fall behind today. But let me tell you why you are also wrong. Change has been happening throughout all the generations whether you like it not.

Change occurred in 1800s during Elizabeth Cady Stanton's time when she and hundreds of other women published the "Declaration of the Rights of Woman and of the Female Citizen."

Change occurred in the 1900s when Susan B. Anthony and thousands of women fought tirelessly for women's suffrage and won with the passage of the 19th Amendment.

Change has occurred with the recent #MeToo movement, exposing years and years of sexual harassment and rape perpetrators, not just in Hollywood, but in other industries as well.

We can't keep pushing saying that "it's not my issue" or "it'll happen later." We can't keep ignoring the issue; we have to face it and fix it . You said to me that, living in John's Creek, you have never faced sexism in your life, and I envy you for that. That does not mean sexism does not exist.

I pity you for the fact that you remain so close minded about the future of women. Though currently the field of surgery may be male-dominated, there are still women who work in that field. There are women who ignore that fact, study their butts off and work, successfully, as surgeons.

Eventually it comes down to this: you can hide and ignore the issues that beset our community, or you can stand up for yourself and the women around you. Your choice.

But know this: feminism is not a lost cause. I am a woman. I can, and I will.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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