Depression isn’t the end of the world, but it also isn’t a joke. It can sneak up on you or develop over time. You can be born with it. Sometimes it goes away on its own, sometimes treatment is necessary. Sometimes nothing works. Depression is a dark bubble that envelops more of your friends and family than you know, and it is something that you should try to understand.

Most people who know me do not know that I struggle with depression. I am here to share my experiences and help people understand what depression is, and how you can battle the misconceptions surrounding it.

1. Depression always has a reason.

Depression does not always have a reason. Those who struggle with it will often not share their feelings because, without a reason, they feel invalidated. One of the worst things you can say to someone struggling with depression is “You have no reason to be sad, cheer up.”

When I am in a ‘low’, I know that I don’t have any reason to be. Pointing it out does nothing but instill a sense of helplessness, knowing that I am not trying to be sad, but not being able to do anything about it. Instead, offer a shoulder to lean on. Don’t force them to pin down a cause to the way that they feel. If they don’t want to talk about it, don’t make them. They don’t owe you anything.

2. Depression means super sad.

For myself and many of those who have similar struggles, being in the ‘lows’ does not necessarily mean being sad. Often times it means a lack of feeling, an utter indifference. Depression can present itself as the inability to be happy, sad, angry, or anything in between.

I find this to be one of the most dangerous forms of depression because many people who cannot feel struggle to find feeling by doing harmful or careless things that are often regretted when they come out of these ‘lows’. Just because someone isn’t bawling in bed for days on end doesn’t mean that they aren’t depressed.

3. Depression is like flipping a switch.

Though some people can hit these lows suddenly, depression often works much slower. Usually, someone is not truly depressed for a single day, let alone for an hour. Often times lows take days, weeks, or even months to set in, and unfortunately take just as long to muddle through.

There is nothing quick about depression, and though you should watch for signs in your loved ones, they are often more difficult to see due to their gradual onset.

4. Medication is a quick fix for depression.

When I was about two months pregnant with my daughter, I was officially diagnosed and prescribed medication for my worsening depression. Many times hormonal changes like pregnancy can cause depression to worsen or appear for the first time. Like many people, I believed that my prescription would be a magic happy pill that would work within days or hours. However, that is almost never the case.

Prescriptions can take weeks to balance or set in. Dosages often have to be changed, and sometimes medications switched. Sometimes medication doesn’t work at all or has an adverse effect. Almost always, your doctor will prescribe therapy along with medication. Unfortunately, depression does not have any quick fixes, whether or not one takes medication.

5. Depression only affects women.

Though most people diagnosed with depression are women, men struggle with depression as well. Some believe that the numbers of women are higher because men see depression as a weakness, therefore putting it off and going undiagnosed and untreated. Depression is not a weakness and can effect anybody of any level of physical and mental strength. As soon as we stop treating depression as a weakness, people can begin openly searching for a treatment that works for them.

Depression is something that effects almost everybody, including you. Whether your sister, best friend, grandma, coworker, or yourself struggles with it, it is often misinterpreted. Let’s do things right in 2018 and end the misconceptions about depression to help all of those who struggle with it.

Adapted from my personal blog