There is a plague for our women right now. We are being told that you have to be the standoffish, cold-hearted, strong girl from the movies to ever find someone who will love us. I am a self-proclaimed and proud feminist but I will not endorse the idea that women have to make men bow to their power in order to find "the one".

A favorite example of mine is the character June Boatwright from 'The Secret Life of Bees.' It's one of my long-time favorite books and also an excellent movie; everyone, go watch it. That aside, June spends the majority of the movie denying the man she loves because she feels that there is strength in standing alone. Now, I'm not saying that we aren't good enough in our solitude or NEED a man to complete us. I'm saying that she loved him and turned down his marriage proposals a million times because she was scared of being dependent on another person. In the real world, the man we love will stop asking after we turn him away enough times--regardless of how much you actually love him. If you don't want to be with someone, don't be, but don't deny yourself the company of a person behind the pretense of being afraid of weakness.

Stop living in the fear that others will see you as weak for owning up to possibly one of your greatest strengths, the capacity to love another person. Women are beautiful and strong and capable, all on their own, always. By turning down an invitation for a date, they do not in any way increase that strength, just as they don't diminish it at all by accepting. We don't have to be mean to men. We don't have to scream our proud loneliness or broadcast just how okay we are without a man. It is NOT a sign of weakness to allow someone into your life but rather a sign of bravery and trust in yourself to be able to pick up whatever mess that person may create for you.

I get that there are a million reasons to be the tough girl when it comes to dating, and sometimes we need to be. But do not act holier than thou because I will go on a date with someone the first time they ask. Please don't listen to the media that tells you to be tough or proud to stand alone if that's not something you want to do. Feminism isn't making a man beg you for a date or to finally accept their marriage proposal but the acknowledgment that we can be the ones to ask.