Growing up, the word feminism meant something very different to me than it does now. When I imagined a feminist, I pictured a wild, screaming, hairy-legged woman burning her bra while holding signs condemning men to hell. My legs are (usually) clean shaven, I enjoy my shopping trips to Victoria's Secret during their semi-annual sales, and I plan on one day adopting my husband’s last name. This lack of stereotypical "feminist things" aside, I have grown to ~proudly~ call myself a feminist.
In 1996 an Australian woman, Su, was interviewed for the anthology DIY feminism, saying,
"[Feminists are] just women who don't want to be treated like s***."
Of the all the explanations I’ve heard about feminists, hers is by far my favorite—short, sweet, and to the point.
Earlier this year, I saw a photo on Instagram of a group of boys posted by a fellow student of mine.
The caption said:
"Combined we've had sex with 5% of UF's female population."
I was repulsed by this disrespectful, demeaning, and thoughtless caption, as well as the response I got to my comment not only by two of the other boys in the photo, but also a girl.
The caption also brings to light the double standard women face with sex and sexuality. If a woman had posted that caption, she likely would have faced harsh criticism and name-calling. She would have been shamed for having many partners and for bragging about it publicly. So why is it that when men say these vulgar things, they give each other high-fives, and we simply laugh it off with the idea that "boys will be boys!"???
Others simply brush their actions off with statements like, “It’s just locker room talk.”
Just last month, more than a million people (of every race, gender, sexual orientation, age, political party, and social class), marched around the world to show their opposition to these antiquated patriarchal ideas. These individuals rallied together in support and unity for women’s rights, proving that women’s rights are, indeed, human rights, and that human rights are women’s rights.
Contrary to what some believe, being a feminist does not mean women dislike men or believe their happiness in the world needs to be diminished to raise ours.
It is my hope that we can continue to increase the happiness and freedom of every individual.
I feel truly blessed each day to live in a country where I have the right to voice my opinion, as I am doing now, and for the strong women throughout history who have fought to achieve the progress we have reached thus far.
But it is not time to simply say, “Good enough.”
Out of the 45 presidents America has had, not a single one (yet!!!) has been a woman. Women are constantly objectified in daily life—my fellow student's Instagram is a perfect example of this—and on screen. Women cannot walk down the street without being cat-called and are often blamed for the despicable actions of men because of their clothing or bodies. Still, women do not receive equal pay for equal work, and often face discrimination in the workplace. Tampons and pads are taxed, while Viagra and Rogaine are not. Some current politicians advocate taking back the rights each woman has to choices about her own body and women’s accessibility to essential healthcare.
So, to the boy who told me, "Stop being a feminist," I encourage you to open your mind and to try to see life through a different perspective.
I’m sure my fellow student simply considered his caption a joke, but I am not laughing. Recently, others have said similarly upsetting jokes such as, “Grab her by the p****.” Perhaps these words are not meant to be taken literally, but our words matter nonetheless.
What we say matters.
Our thoughts matter.
"What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow!"--Buddha.
Let's build a better tomorrow, together.
Be kind always,
C.B.
