I've come to realize it's a toxic trait to always say sorry. Sometimes things just aren't your fault or don't warrant an apology. If you're a people-pleaser, you get it too. You just want everyone to love and accept you, so you take the blame for things, even when you shouldn't. But I'm here to tell you: saying sorry all the time isn't helping you if anything it's making it worse.

Now look, if you are truly in the wrong, by all means, you should apologize. If you bump into somebody on the bus, are rude to your friend because you've had a bad day, or if something is genuinely your fault, take the blame. But know where to draw the line as well. You aren't always in the wrong. Also, know how to explain to someone why you are sorry. If you can't find a good reason why there is probably no need to say sorry at all. It's more than necessary to stand up for yourself and express your emotions. If you find yourself apologizing for how you feel, take a step back and evaluate the situation.

It can feel like you have to apologize to keep the peace but know that if you always apologize when something hurts you, you will just damage the relationship in the long run. The person you apologize consistently to, whether it's a roommate, acquaintance, friend, or partner, will just automatically expect it from you. You will create a cycle of blaming yourself and not feeling adequate, as well as not clearly expressing your feelings.

I know how it feels to always be the one that says sorry. It just becomes a habit, because you want to hold onto the people you care about the most, and that is totally understandable. But find the line for yourself where you are truly wrong or you just want to put a bandaid on the situation. Apologizing to avoid conflict is a steep hole as well: a temporary fix for a bigger issue.

Know that the people who love and care about you will understand when you stop apologizing for everything. It may take some adjusting, but know your own self-worth. You deserve to be heard, valued, and validated. You don't have to apologize for everything you do: you are human, just like everyone else.