Depression is a word that we probably hear almost every single day of our lives. Personally, I have heard that word thrown around more times in one day than I can even count. But what is depression? Who gets it? Is it really that big of a deal? Depression is defined by Merriam-Webster as "a serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way," anyone can get it, and YES it is a HUGE deal.
For the past couple years, all I can remember is feeling sad every hour of every day. I would wake up every day, feeling worthless. I felt as if it didn't matter if I left my house, or even room. I didn't want to work. I didn't want to go to school. I didn't even care if my friends saw me. I felt negatively towards everything, even the things that used to bring me so much joy. Music used to make everything better for me, and even listening to my favorite songs didn't make me feel any less worse.
There were days that I thought, "This is it. I can't do this anymore," and that scared me. It scared me so terribly, and it made me hate myself even more for thinking that way. It was this never-ending spiral that I felt trapped by. I never thought I would get better.
In September of 2015, I remember having one day that was a really horrible day. It was so bad, that I skipped my classes, didn't go to work and then hopped on the next bus home to my hometown to be with my family. I was starting to fail everything again, and the stress of everything with how sad I was felt like I was going to die. I had hit my low point.
It was this point in time that I decided to take charge of my own life. I scheduled an appointment with a mental health specialist at my university. I was set up with a very kind woman who had nothing but respect and care for me. She told me I had depression and we decided to figure out how to go from there.
I kept seeing her, plus a psychiatrist, for a few months, and can honestly say I feel so much better than I did before. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL. Please! It took me so long to get the help I needed, and if I hadn't, I don't know where I would be today.
Like I said before, I'm doing so much better, and I feel quite a lot happier than I did several months ago. With that said, I'm still not okay. I'm going to take the steps necessary to make this better for me so I can go back to being the happy Hunter I need to be.
If you or anyone you know is having bad thoughts or thoughts of suicide, please get help from a parent, a friend, a family member, a teacher, ANYONE. There are also so many very useful 24 hour prevention hotlines available.
Someone is there for you.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1 (800) 273-8255
To find your local suicide prevention hotline:
http://www.suicide.org/index.html
and for my Wisconsin friends:
