It's officially been a year since I've been in a relationship and after all this time there is something I need to admit... I'm still in love... with his mom. And instead of writing a "break up anniversary" article, I decided to write a love story, one between me and his mom, because that love never faded. There is a certain pain in loving your ex even when things are over, but there is another pain in loving your ex's mother. The way you love your significant other is different than the way you love their mother. Loving a significant other's mother is like loving your own mother, but like loving your own mother after you have been away for months at college. It's loving their hugs, the way they smell, the way they grab your shoulders and look into your eyes. The way they cook you special meals and listen to all of your stories, promising to laugh. It's knowing that they love you unconditionally, and it's never wanting to hurt them in return. Even if things end between you and their son/daughter.

I love my ex's mother like I love my own mother (sorry mom, but it's true). We grew fond of one another before her son and I did, and our relationship grew stronger as her son and I began to date. She was the face I was always delighted to see, and we could talk for hours about anything that came to our minds. I visited her even when her son was away at college and I didn't really have an excuse to come over to their house. We got along like lost twin sisters, finding the same things funny and having passion over the same beliefs. She is a jeweler, and she made me many necklaces and bracelets that I still wear. She was my best friend, and so when her son and I ended things, I was equally devastated to lose her.

I guessed at some unspoken rule that you're not supposed to stay in touch with the family of your ex. Besides, there is no real way to go about hanging out with them without hearing of the ex. That will forever be a common trait between us. So, breaking up with an ex means breaking up with their family. To this day, that still hurts me. I miss his mother more than I miss him. If I could have her back, I would, but I can't have her back without having him back as well.

I ran into her and my ex's father at the country park near my house early one morning over the summer while I was horseback riding. Although I thought the interaction would be cold, she swept me into her arms and cried softly onto my shoulder, hesitating to let me go. It broke me to see her that way. I wasn't sure if she was crying for her son, but I hoped she was crying for us. I mean, I was sad that she was crying at all, but I hoped it was for a reason I could cry too without shame. IT was that mother-daughter moment that occurs after the daughter has been away for so long. She did exactly what my mom does when I come home from college. She asked me all about my life, my plans, asked me if everything was going my way. She made me promise to keep in touch. We've only talked a bit between then, but every time I am home, she is the one who I secretly hope will be in the grocery store when I go.

I guess I wish there was some way to continue hanging out with your ex's family. I would be best friends with my ex's mom if I could. If there was someway that all the drama that occurred between her son and I could be left on the doorstep whenever I visit her house. I want to talk to her, but not about him. I wish that's the way relationships worked. I would do anything to get her back, and I regret to see that I've let her become so long far gone.