As children we were taught “stick and stones might break my bones but words will never hurt me” or “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. Slogans used to toughen our internal skin. To keep us from waddling around in the damage of words; to prevent us from wandering aimlessly when such facets would display our sensitivity and challenge our strength to rise above. As a child you were taught these slogans to protect your sense of vulnerability from being exposed.
However, majority of pain felt during adolescence (and life in general) derives from a hurt that’s deeper than any bones that’re broken. I’ve been crippled, restrained, and confined many times over; but never by way of broken bones.
The truth behind “Sticks and Stones”:
As a young girl I can recall numerous moments that I was told to man-up from my sensitivity. That I cried too much, allowed the words of others the chance “get” to me. As a result there were many cases in which I was ashamed. Ashamed that I was so defenseless, weak for allowing others to negatively reach me with their words. Rehearsing little slogans “stick and stones might break my bones but words… but words will ruin me."
Words have been known to strip of dignity, thieve esteem, derail purpose, and uproot many dreams. Just as positive affirmation has been able to renew esteem, foster purpose, water dreams while nurturing damaged dignity to the place in which it can stand on its own.
“Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing”. – Proverbs 12:18.
Words being a plethora of facets: a dull knife sawing at one’s core, a healing agent as tender as a touch, a comfort similar to home and the list proceeds. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And those who love it will eat its fruit”-Proverbs 18:21
Can you say that your words breed life?
As I previously wrote “sticks and stones might break my bones but words… will ruin me”, I was asked once how do I believe one can move beyond the ruins. Beyond the tender wound of sour words, and gnawing hurt. The answer I believe comes in various forms, and a diverse amount of processes. It isn’t a step by step manual for each instance differs. However, what I know to be tried and true is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a timeless lesson, one that fits all incidents. One that will allow freedom and a chance for restoration. Forgiveness begins with self-realization, discovering your emotions and the origin of them all. Delving into yourself and the knowledge that words cannot be returned, but always exchanged. Positive affirmation can establish a stable sense of self. Identity is a pivotal component when considering words that are spoken to us, and over our lives. With being equipped with the knowledge of who you are, you can easily accept or declines one’s word.
Imagine yourself as a gate, what you allow to enter is what will take root within your spirit. Regarding back to the slogan “stick and stone might break my bones but words will… enhance or diminish my spirit. In knowing your identity, and the image in which you were created in you have a defense against words that speak otherwise. A safe haven within yourself, a strength that’s guaranteed beyond the warranty of childhood slogans. One that is secure in the inner knowing of your purpose, and how you too can create an environment for others to discover their authenticity by words.
“Stick and stones might break my bones but words will…*what shall your journey attest to?
