It comes lurking through the dorm hallways. Sneaking quietly into the classrooms. Lying low behind the cups and silverware in the Commons. The Stetson Plague is coming to wreck your chance of passing this semester with anything above a B-.
I wrote earlier this year about the idea of how not being stressed and getting enough sleep saved me around midterms from this terrible week of sickness. However, I could only run for so long. It had finally penetrated those in the Commons and Hat Rack workers. I mean, half of the students don’t cover their mouths when they cough, and who gets to clean that up? Or when they pass the worker their student ID after coughing all over it. It was only a matter of time.
My lack of stress could only hold off the Plague for so long, but when it had me covered from all sides, I was no match. Here are the six stage all Plague survivors will go through.
Stage 1: Invasion
It started off small. My throat was hurting. As a chronic snorer, I thought (well, prayed) that it was just a normal side effect. Sometimes, when someone snores too loudly, their throat becomes dry and scratchy. My original roommate from my freshmen year could probably validate that, considering it made her move out of our dorm, but I digress.
I continued on about my day, attending my normal Tuesday classes, drinking more water than I probably had this entire semester, and I even ate soup. I hate soup, but I wanted to get ahead of this as much as I could. That included taking some medication I had on stock just in case I contracted strep throat for the hundredth time. I alerted my roommate of the possibility that this was strep throat, and went to bed that night hoping that I had fixed it.
Wrong.
Stage 2: Small Take Down
I woke up Wednesday with no voice. I woke up, shoved on my uniform for work, and ran across the quad. No fever, no cough, no running nose. Nothing other than a scratchy throat and no voice. Since I work at a location that requires me to scream numbers, this turned out to be very problematic. As the day continued, I started to feel worse. A fever began to set in, I started to get really tired and my throat hurt more. I requested to leave almost two hours early so I could go to the doctor’s on campus.
“Not strep yet, but possible starting formation of it. Continue the medication you have. If you get worse, come back.”
Helpful doctor, right? But I followed his directions, and honestly, I did feel better after seeing him, because I gained back some of my voice. I went to dinner that night, tried to eat something, and then went to bed.
Stage Three: Surprise Attack
Thursday morning, I was dying. Overnight, I had gained a cough and sneeze, my fever had risen, and I could feel death coming. I grabbed my box of Mucinex, my hankie, and my water bottle, and took on the world. Thankfully I had a short day, so I was planning when I could return to the doctor and get some proper medication. Sadly, there were no available times by the time I called. The Plague works quickly.
I decided I would just fight this on my own unless it got even worse on Friday. I had gotten the Plague enough times last year that I had built up a stock pile of different over-the-counter medications that could last me this battle.
Stage Four: Back-Up
Friday came and I ended up waking up at almost three in the afternoon. This should have made me feel amazing, but I felt terrible, and I had to get ready for Sigma Tau Delta inductions. I took what Stetson considers to be a hot shower and what I consider to be a lukewarm drizzle in efforts to clear me up slightly. (Seriously, though, could Stetson fix the water pressure in the dorm halls? Over $12,000 my roommate and I are paying for a room, and the water pressure is almost nonexistent.) I got dressed and made my way over to the induction. I somehow manage not to sneeze for the entire thing, but my voice was barely audible.
The rest of the night I spent in my room, watching a mini "Harry Potter" marathon with one of the carriers of the Plague, a friend of mine, who also survived it this strain. He treated me to food, garlic mainly, to help me sweat out my nose, and water. And then left around midnight so I could try to get some sleep. Try. Because I was left awake, blowing my nose like a trumpet every fifteen to twenty minutes.
Stage Five: Recovery
On Saturday, I woke up around noon and stayed the entire day in bed drinking water and eating the leftover food from the night before. I stayed cuddle up in my blanket fortress, trying to get some more rest and relaxation in, hoping that I wouldn’t be hit with another surprise attack. The only time I left was when I forced to leave my room by the carrier of the Plague, who demanded I go and eat some actual food with some other sick students. So I grabbed an umbrella, put on real clothes, and trudged my way to the Commons.
They next few hours were slightly better than the days previous. I could actually go more than fifteen minutes without feeling like my nose had turned into Niagara Falls, and I even got Yik Yaked about. Apparently one of my neighbors thought I had died because they didn’t hear me blow my nose for two hours. But my fever was still present.
Stage Six: Rehabilitation
Though I would have loved to just stay in bed for the remainder of the weekend, honestly, probably until Wednesday, when I would driving home for Break, I knew I had to get out bed and enter society again. If not for my own want, then for the want of my fellow co-workers. My fever was nearly nonexistent, and my cough had cooled down slightly, minus some flare ups every now and again. Besides, I had seen if there was anyone I could switch with on Friday, and the answer was pretty much no. I figured I could probably just stay on registrar the entire night anyway. Or hide in the back. Both were acceptable options. Not like I was contagious anymore.
With exam time quickly approaching, and many carriers walking around, prepare yourself for the worse. Write all of your papers early just in case you get invaded and feel like crap for the next three days. Get all the reading done, because there is no way that you will want to do that when you are drowsy. Most importantly, stock up on water and light snacks, like popcorn or pudding. Even if you leave this campus without getting sick, these will keep you healthy enough to complete your last assignments and study for your exams. That goes double for you "Fallout 4" players. Remember to drink water, eat food, and at some point, get some sleep and do homework.
May the curves be ever in your favor.
