These rivalries are complex and sometimes they fit better on E! than on ESPN. So what if these teams in the SEC were the people that we know in our everyday lives? Well, I put some thought into it and came up with a few ideas…
VANDERBILT: Vanderbilt is a bit like that really smart engineering student that ended up in your english class. You know that they are smart but this just isn’t their strong suit. Yeah, you may slip up every once in a while and they will get a higher quiz grade than you, but in reality, they just aren’t too much of a threat to you in this class.
OLE MISS: Ole Miss is that girl in your sorority that you aren’t really friends with, but you know she is the one to call if all your friends decide to stay in and your outfit for the night is way too cute to waste. She is always up for a good party but probably won’t be the one buying you a breakfast sandwich the next morning when you leave your debit card at the bar.
ARKANSAS and KENTUCKY: Wait...Kentucky is in the SEC? Arkansas and Kentucky are those girls you always forget are actually in your sorority. When they show up to play… I mean pledge… you are always surprised that they are wearing your letters—SEC in this case.
TEXAS A&M: Texas A&M is that new freshman that showed up to formal in the same dress you as you… and she wore it better. Don’t worry, after you had a few sessions on the elliptical and she late-nighted a few too many times at QuickGrill you came out on top. But it still stings. And definitely can’t happen again.
LSU: LSU is your boyfriends old ex that is still super bitter that he has moved on to better things. Nick Saban dropped LSU like it was hot and now is much happier in Tuscaloosa.
TENNESSEE: I was raised to hate Tennessee. They are the absolute worst of the SEC in my opinion. Tennessee is that ex-boyfriend that cheated on you with your best friend. But now he is fat. So hah!
SOUTH CAROLINA: South Carolina is that fraternity guy that is just gross. His vulgar humor is funny at first, but after a while, it gets old to hear about (game)cocks all the time.
FLORIDA: Florida is the party girl that got sent home after her freshman year. But man, did she have a great freshman year. Until it ended with her in Tebow tears when she saw her grades. She is still in community college hoping to make it back to the big leagues.
MISSISSIPPI STATE: Mississippi State is the wild card sorority that comes out of the blue during recruitment and gives you a run for your money in terms of "getting girls." You kind of forget about them until your rush crush mentions them during pref and you know it’s time to get your game-face on because they are there with (cow)bells on and ready to fight.
AUBURN: You know that girl that just tries so hard to be you? She buys all the stuff she sees you wearing and dates all of your exes? Auburn is the Gretchen Weiners to Alabama’s Regina George. Just as hoops are Regina’s thing, winning is something that belongs to UA. Sorry Gretch, but you’ll never make fetch happen. And sorry Auburn, but blue and orange are just never going to happen.
