Social media has become a crucial part of our day-to-day lives, but what happens when it causes more heartache than happiness? Here are three truths to help heal the harm caused by what we view on social media:
1. Couples are not always as happy as the smiles in their Instagram posts
Despite their adorable pictures, the couples behind the lens probably have more not-so-adorable moments than you may think, because relationships are rarely as easy as they seem. Lately, a common trend on social media is tagging #RelationshipGoals with pictures of kissing couples, extravagant gifts, five-page long goodnight texts and mushy "happy one-month anniversary" posts on Facebook. While these may be actual goals for some couples, the tag is alienating because every couple (including their #RelationshipGoals) is different. I'm all for positivity, but the problem with these posts is that they aren't a realistic representation of relationships in the slightest. Tags like the one above tend to display only the happier aspects of relationships and not the work it takes to maintain a love behind the scenes. Regardless of tagging, often times people are only showcasing the highlights of their relationship because no one wants to publicly acknowledge that they may have turbulence with their significant other. Because of this, sometimes we base the value of a relationship by what we see on social media, whether it's someone else's or our own. It's important to remember that you're only seeing the aspects of a relationship that someone wants you to see and not the whole.
2. She (probably didn't) wake up like this
I'll admit that sometimes when I'm scrolling through my feed on Instagram, I feel a tinge of jealousy towards girls with perfect skin or killer abs. It can get difficult to separate the "selfie" from the self when you're scrolling through pages of seemingly perfect humans with paper-white teeth and size 0 waists. However, like relationships, it's important to realize that people tend to put their best face forward on social media, literally. It's easy to fall into the trap of "Why don't I look like her?" or "Why am I not as fit as him?" when you're constantly bombarded with unobtainable standards of appearance. Pictures capture our best (looking) moments and advertise them to the world as an accurate representation of how we look all the time, which is generally far from true. "Selfies" can be (and often are) manipulated. I personally can't think of anyone walking around with the "Moon" filter over their face. Remember that someone else's beautiful picture on Instagram doesn't devalue the reality of your own beauty.
3. Despite what Facebook says, you're doing just fine
I can't log onto Facebook anymore without running into numerous pictures of weddings, engagements or pregnancies from members of my graduating class. It seems like those who aren't parents or engaged, are constantly partying with the members of their sorority or fraternity. I know that I'm not alone when I say that sometimes I feel like I'm not doing the "right things" with my life because I'm not on the same path as the people I grew up with. But then I remember that social media doesn't get to define the right path for me, I do and so do you. As long as you're happy and working towards your goal it shouldn't matter if your ex is getting married at 22, or that your old valedictorian has mastered body shots. Your 20's are all about finding yourself and the things and people that make your heart happy. Never let anyone (or anything posted on social media) derail those feelings because finding yourself is something to be proud of, regardless of the path you take to get there.
