If you’re anything like me, your room is a mess by the time finals week rolls around. Your laundry isn’t done, your clothes are all over the floor, and you might not have taken out your trash. Who has time to clean when there’s so much studying to do? You might even attempt to clear a path through the wreckage by shoving a few things under your bed. No shame, I do it. What’s a lofted bed for, if not to store things underneath?
The underneath of your bed becomes a bit of a black hole, a cornucopia of your filth and laziness. Luckily, you find all the things you lost, and more, when you clean up your room for the summer.
1. The pair of underwear that you thought you lost
Congrats, girl! You still have all 7 of those $27 for 7 thongs. The washing machine didn’t actually eat them! Your roommate didn’t actually steal them – time to let go of that grudge, I guess.
2. Someone else’s underwear
You’re bound to find a stranger’s pair of underwear under your bed as you clean up. Maybe you stole them from the laundry room, somehow thinking that those men’s boxers were your’s… weird. Maybe a suitor left them behind after a midnight tryst. Would they really go home commando? Probably not. None of these situations make sense, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are now the foster mom to a pair of size medium vineyard vines boxers.
3. Empty fifths
Cliché? Probably. Doesn’t change the fact that you needed to get a little sneaky throughout the year. You live in a "dry dorm" after all. No law can keep you away from that strawberry lemonade Svedka, though.
4. Cheetos and Dust Bunnies
Those late night eats have made a home of their own under your bed. Puffy Cheetos have turned to crunchy ones… not a pleasant sight.
5. An Overdue Homework Assignment
You argued with your professor for weeks about this assignment. You held your ground, knowing that you handed it in on time. You swore that your professor was the one who lost it. You were headstrong, steadfast in your conviction to not redo the assignment.
Whoops… looks like you never handed it in after all.
6. A library book
You’ve been accepting the fees for this late book on “Sand Rock Art” all semester long. Little did you know, it was shoved in the corner, right next to that collection of scarves that you never wear.
7. Five dollars
8. A dead animal
Cockroach, mouse, bunny, or your freshman roommate, at least you finally know where that weird smell was coming from.
9. Hair ties. So many hair ties.
10. A sports bra
Your excuse for never going to the gym: “I can’t find a sports bra, I totally can’t go to spinning today.” If you cleaned your room earlier in the semester, maybe it would still fit.
11. Hopes and Dreams
You find your planner, filled with all the things you had planned to do this semester. You’ll just have to add them to the to-do list for the fall.