All of us have gone through some complicated situations with significant others whether that be the bad break up, the rebounding with a best friend, or even the high school into college distance dilemma. But no matter what the situation was, they all have one thing in common; you liked the person for some reason in the beginning.
We date people for a variety of reason; we like what we like, dislike what we dislike, and are attracted to sometimes unexplainable, or strange things. But, we date the people that give us something. They give us comfort, a shoulder to cry on, support, happiness. But whatever it may be, there was that initial reason why you spent time with them for however long or short a time the relationship lasted. Maybe, after dating them, you realized they weren’t the person for you, but you thought they may be at some point in time which does imply that you liked them enough to spend enough time with them to the point where you could figure out they weren’t the guy or girl for you.
A large number of people believe thats it’s impossible to be friends with your ex afterwards. To this statement, I put my foot down and scream false! Call me crazy, but I personally believe that if you liked them enough to date them in the first place, you should like them enough to be friends afterwards. Yes, I know there are those exes it’s unhealthy to maintain relationships with (I definitely have a few of those -- you know who you are) but I don’t hate them.
It’s primarily people who say they hate their ex that bother me. If they have wronged you for one reason or another, then sure, bash all you want, but keep in mind that you did like them as a person pre hate-worthy incident. I, too, am guilty of the word vomit that consists of a large slur of offensive language and nasty descriptions when you talk about "that ex," but, at least for me (most of the time) it’s just me being angry or resentful. Not even towards them as a person, most of the time -- mostly just me and my own personal struggles and offense to whatever happened.
There are good memories with every relationship and you shouldn’t let your negative ending tarnish the good times. Just like you don’t let past fights get in the way of your current friendships, don’t let a break up hinder a friendship with an ex! To quote the one and only Robin Scherbatsky, “Don’t think of this as two people breaking up, think of this as two friends getting back together." There is so much truth and value to this statement.
When you date someone, they can become your best friend. The one person who holds the basket you put all your eggs in for lack of a better example. So, why lose that friend just because the romantic spark wasn’t totally there or didn’t work out? Just some food for thought.
