As I am growing older I’ve noticed that everyone in my generation is always trying to find love. Everyone wants to be in a relationship. Everyone is tried of being lonely. That is a justifiable need, however when looking at it from the college perspective most of us are not ready for love — true love that is.

As a Howard student, the topic of unfaithful Howard men is an extremely reoccurring topic. Women are always saying how they’re tired of being cheated on or they’re tired of not receiving the love that they give. All of this is true; women are likely to be put second in their relationships. However, it is also true that most men in college are just starting figuring themselves out. I mean some of them are just figuring out how to do their own laundry…so I digress.

Its been popularized for so long that college is where you find love, but that’s not true for most people. This is why I feel that after so many failed relationships that my friends have begun to settle for less. A lot of my peers are scared to leave without true love after these four years, but it is perfectly OK to be single if you have not found the right one. Being single is not necessarily about solitude, but really securing that you are able to love yourself as much as you feel you can give that same amount of love to someone else. So if you say that you have so much love to give and you’re tired of it not reciprocating, have you made sure you can give yourself all that love first?

As a female in STEM, I think this is even more relevant. There is a stigma that guys are intimidated by women who are more successful than them, so being in our position it sometimes seems impossible to find the right one. I personally have been told on many occasions that I am too independent. I completely disagree with the “independent black women” stigma, saying that a black woman can’t be too self-sufficient. I don’t have my life together, nor do ever think I really will. But if you feel like you have your head on your shoulders and you’ve been looking for the right one, don’t ever feel like you have to accommodate. If someone does not mind being secondary to your success then they don’t deserve the privilege of going through that journey with you.

College is supposed to be a fun time, a time where you discover yourself, others, and the relationship between you and the world. It’s been 18 years and I still feel like I’m not ready for true love. My environment growing up did not have many exemplary couples that I could look up too, however, growing up in a Christian family I know that everything is planned and prepared by God. So I personally don’t feel the need to rush anything, and I think that should be same for everyone. If it is meant to be everything will happen naturally. Who knows, maybe the one for me is right in front me and God is letting him get right before he comes back to me. Trust that you're Bill Gates is in the making.