I am not perfect, of this I am sure. But I am smart, and funny, and

kind, and worthy. I deserve to be treated with respect. I give more of

myself than I should. And I don’t realize that I am doing it, until I

get hurt.

I have never believed that I was worthy of true love. I have always felt

like more of a burden than a joy. I have been afraid to seek affection.

When I love someone, I love fiercely, and I give all of myself. I go out

of my way to take care of people. Performing both small and large acts

of service to those that I love. This is done because I genuinely care

about the person that I am giving myself to. I want them to feel my love

through intimate acts. Cleaning, cooking, small intimate touches, and

gifts.

The problem I have faced with being so giving, is that I am usually

never on the receiving end. And that is okay if I feel that the

affection is given in equal parts. But lately, that is not the case. I

try my hardest to help people, and at the end of the day, I go to bed

unnoticed.

I have always felt like I am a good person. I have so much love to give,

but for some reason, I turn into more of a burden. Or a servant. And

neither of these is what I am looking for in a relationship. I want to

feel taken care of, as well as needed.

Another downfall of being so giving, is how easily I find myself feeling

disappointed in myself. I tell myself that if I do more for my partner,

maybe then they will love me back, or care more. But as you can

imagine, this is never the case. I am always giving, and never

receiving.

It takes a careful balance of affection and attention to keep a

relationship going forward. If one person is giving, and the other is

taking, the relationship will sink. One person can’t keep the ship from

sinking without any help. I am holding out hope that maybe I will find

my balance, one day. But until then, I will keep tying to love you, and

giving you everything that I have.