Before I was even born, my dad gave me a few things. My big brown eyes. The crow’s feet I get when I smile really hard. The bump in the middle of my nose. It’s all genetics.
He also passed down a significantly high chance that I will become an addict at some point in my life. Like I said, it’s genetics.
It’s believed the children of addicts are eight times more likely to become addicts than their peers. To some, this may seem like an unreasonably high figure. I mean, the children of addicts have seen, firsthand, the consequences of addiction. Wouldn’t that make them cautious enough to steer clear of the same problems?
Growing up with an addict in the house was never easy. My father struggled with functional alcoholism for the majority of my childhood, and many years of the same before I was born. While the disease was at its worst (and yes, addiction is classified as a disease), my father would add alcohol to his morning coffee, go out for drinks after work and come home late at night, and often have drinks during the day. The disease changed his personality, his work ethic, and his relationships. His addiction took priority over his work. It took priority over his marriage. It took priority over his children.
My father’s addiction did damage to our family that can never be taken back. My sisters and I grew up in an environment where the truth wasn’t discernible from the lies, where our father was often not present, physically nor mentally. I’m not saying there were never any good times or happiness—that’s what makes addiction tricky; addiction isn’t always ugly. Sometimes, in my dad’s case, it’s functional, so the addict can keep working and appears normal to the outside world. Sometimes it's disguised as someone who just likes to have a ‘good time.’ Sometimes it’s just regarded as youthful experimentation.
But it needs to end. There are currently more people suffering from addiction in America than there are suffering from diabetes. As the child of an addict, I know that addiction has many faces, and addicts will do just about anything to supply their disease. Addiction can lead people to lying, cheating, stealing, and abusing. Addiction also leads to significant mental, emotional, and physical health problems, and in extreme cases, death.
But enough’s enough. It’s time to start calling addiction like it is. We need to stop handling it like a simple problem that can be solved in hushed tones during family meetings and unspoken tension between addicts and the people who know about their problem. If you know someone who has an addiction problem, or are genuinely concerned about someone’s relationship with alcohol or other addictive substances, say something. Don’t stand by and let them destroy their lives and the lives of those around them. Addicts don’t intend to hurt those around them, but their disease is in control. The sooner they get help, the less pain, anger, and anxiety all parties involved have to feel.
We also have to stop creating addicts. Our society doesn’t regard addiction as the danger that it actually is. The casual use and experimentation of drugs and alcohol, especially among young people, is glamorized in our country. The popularity of party drugs and binge drinking encourage people to use these substances anytime they want to have fun. Websites like Tumblr paint addiction as beautifully tragic. Let me tell you, there is nothing beautiful nor fun about addiction.
I’m not saying all people should stop drinking. I’m not saying people who experiment or use recreational drugs are bad people. What I am saying is that they can become serious problems that can destroy or end lives. It’s high time that we treat addiction like the horrible disease it actually is.
My father is sober now and has been for some time. He went through treatment and AA meetings and has maintained his sobriety. As great as this is, my family doesn’t get to go back and change how things went while he was still an addict. The damage is done. But it’s not all bad. My experiences with addiction have helped me become who I am today. It also afforded me the knowledge and experience to write articles like this one with the hope that it can help others.
