Being someone who has never seen any of the previous 6 Star Wars movies, I did not find it particularly pertinent to reserve a ticket for Star Wars: The Force Awakens on its opening weekend of December 18th; therefore, I can now say that I have not seen any of the 7 Star Wars movies. Throughout the months leading up to the new movie, I have watched the movie trailers, the merchandise commercials, the Saturday Night Live spoofs, reveling in what I do know and awkwardly pretending to know what I don't. If any of my friends actually straight-up asked me about my knowledge of the intergalactic franchise, I was forced to come clean: I know little to null. However, with the following expertise, I was able to fake it for a substantial amount of time. Perhaps I can apply this knowledge to the new movie as well.
There are quite a few robots.
BB8 and R2D2 to name a few. Other than being cute, I know not their actual purpose.
There's also some Storm Troopers.
I think they are on the bad (or dark?) side. They're the guys that the kids run from in the Target commercials, and they have those guns that spit lasers and go *pew pew*.
Chewbacca looks like Big Foot and makes this weird screeching noise.
I find him just as cute as BB8 and R2D2. Forgive me if he is not meant to be cute.
Princess Leia is technically a Disney princess.
Ever since Disney announced that it was taking on a new Star Wars movie in 2012, Princess Leia has been a kind of trump card when it comes to those games of "Guess That Disney Princess." Your favorite Disney princess? Perhaps Belle? WRONG. Princess Leia. Bet you didn't see that coming.
Harrison Ford plays one of the characters.
Don't ask me which character he plays.
Darth Vader is Luke's father.
According to Pitch Perfect, "That's, like, the biggest reveal in cinematic history!" Even if I never saw the movies growing up, I still loved to sit in front of the tiny fan in the corner of the room and grumble, "Luke....I...am...your....father."
Star Wars is not Star Trek.
Note-to-self: Spock and Captain Kirk are not a part of the Star Wars universe.
Yoda words he speaks not correctly.
I have heard the various attempts to replicate his unique voice and eloquent choice of word sequence. Some are successes, other failures. In the new Star Wars movie he will be I know not.
The prequels did not come first.
I have been incessantly told by multiple people to NOT WATCH THE PREQUELS FIRST. Watch the first movies first. Because the prequels and the first movies are NOT one in the same.
Light sabers are deadly.
Everyone knows what a light saber is and how awesome it is. The color of the light saber may mean something about the person wielding the light saber...maybe. Either way, being the child-at-heart and fake fan that I am, I asked for one for Christmas.
The Force also sounds deadly, although I still haven't really figured out what the Force is.
Since May the Fourth has practically been proclaimed as a national holiday, I have grown more accustomed to the phrase "May the Fourth be with you," than the original phrase, "May the Force be with you."
Star Wars is truly an awe-inspiring franchise.
Although I haven't seen the movies, although I don't know what the Force is, although I have more than likely underrepresented a large proportion of the Star Wars universe and its characters in this list, despite all of these things, I can still recognize that Star Wars is truly a phenomenon that has defined and shaped the movie and merchandising industry since its creation in 1977. It continues to define each decade that it falls into, fitting to the special effects, filming and values of the day. No matter what movie, actors, special effects, or form that it takes, Star Wars is a franchise that truly withstands the test of time.
