I've been performing stand-up comedy for a few years now, and one response I get from a lot of people is "Wow, how do you do that? I could never do stand-up." The first few times I got asked this question I was too busy patting myself on the back for my bravery to really give it any thought, but as I kept hearing it I started to wonder, "what is it that allows people to do stand-up?"

Unlike your supportive grandparents might think, it takes a lot more than being funny to be a stand-up comedian. First you have to be comfortable talking in front of a large crowd of people, which isn't easy on its own. Then you have to get used to talking in front of a large crowd of people, many of whom are drunk, that may angrily shout insults at you. And you have to get very comfortable with rejection, because it takes a while to get any sort of recognition. Finally, and possibly most importantly, you have to have a strange and unique perspective on things that sets you apart from everyone else. So what is it that drives someone to become a comedian, and what allows them to be successful? Well, according to some research, the answer might just be a special combination of psychological traits that are out of the ordinary.

One of the most common psychological issues linked with comedians is depression. Although the topic had been discussed in the past, after Robin Williams' highly publicized death, the conversation about depression in famous comedians became even more prominent. Although I had trouble finding any hard research on this topic, the amount of anecdotal evidence from comedians themselves was staggering. In the documentary "Misery Loves Comedy," directed by comedian Kevin Pollak, about 50 comedians tell stories of tragic pasts and how they led to comedy.

Now this seems to be the start of a decent theory, but I didn't want to stop there since obviously not everyone who suffers from depression is a comedian and vice versa. So obviously there's more to being a comedian than just suffering from depression. So I decided to look into why some people tell jokes to combat their depression.

In my search, I found a study that examined the role of humor in relation to symptoms of depression. In this study they found that certain styles of humor were actually effective in combating symptoms of depression. These styles of humor are affiliative humor and self-enhancing humor. However, affiliative humor is used more in social situations than it is on stage meaning this type of humor, although effective in preventing depression, does not seem to fit what I'm looking for. Self-enhancing humor, on the other hand, is very often used in stand-up. Self-enhancing humor is a style of humor that is specifically used to make the teller of the joke feel better. Often it is used when the person telling the joke is feeling unhappy or upset in some way and they want to find something funny about their situation.

At first, this seemed to be what I was looking for, it seemed like a natural progression. Comedians are depressed, so they use a style of comedy that helps fight depression and find the humor in life. However, to stop here would neglect another popular style for comedians, self-defeating humor. This style of humor is used often to build relationships with others through jokes told at one's own expense. Now despite making the person more popular with others, self-defeating humor has actually been linked to having higher levels of depression and anxiety.

The answer may be found by looking back at Pollak's documentary. In it, many comedians express that getting laughter on stage is used to fill an empty feeling that they have. Likewise, in their book, "Pretend the World is Funny and Forever," psychotherapists Seymour and Rhonda Fisher conducted studies on 40 professional comedians. They found that many had problems in childhood that resulted in a low sense of self-worth. The Fishers posited that this low self-esteem, and a need to prove themselves to be good, is what caused these people to become comedians.

So perhaps all comedians use comedy in order to fill this void, and just like with other methods of self-medication some use a healthy method (like self-enhancing humor) and others a less healthy method (such as self-defeating humor). Now wanting to feel better about yourself is a strong motivating factor, and can no doubt help overcome most of the obstacles I laid out at the beginning of this article. However, no amount of drive can force someone to be original and think in ways that are outside of the box.

So what is it that allows comedians to think so differently? Well, one study conducted by The British Journal of Psychiatry may have the answer to that. This study aimed to find if comedians exhibited higher levels of psychotic traits, often linked to disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. The test they used examined four different traits; unusual experiences, which measures belief in magical or paranormal events; cognitive disorganization, or how difficult it is to stay focused; introvertive anhedonia, or a reduced ability to feel pleasure both socially and physically; and impulsive non-conformity which indicates a lack of mood-related self-control. On all four of these traits, comedians scored significantly higher than the control group.

At this point, if any of you are still reading this, you might be asking yourself why do I care so much? What's the point of understanding why a comedian does what they do? Now understanding anyone is important, but I think it is especially important to understand a group of people that are rarely taken seriously. It's hard for people to imagine that the person making them laugh may be suffering from real psychological issues because to them that person brings so much joy. But, as evidenced by comedians like Chris Farley or Robin Williams, sometimes some of the funniest people have some very serious problems behind what they do.

I personally suffered from depression and was even hospitalized for it at one point. When I told one of my friends I had been experiencing suicidal thoughts his immediate response was "Why?" I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, and I don't blame him. I was constantly joking around, which probably made it seem like I was happy, but in reality getting laughs was the only way I could feel good about myself. Even now I have a hard time being serious around people, or if I am, I come off as boring because I'm trying to suppress the part of me that feels the need to constantly be joking. Even writing this article I struggled the whole time, trying not to write jokes here and there, afraid that anyone who reads it would immediately reject what I've written because there's a part of my brain that says I'm only good at being funny.

Now I'm not telling you to stop enjoying comedy, or try to get your friends in therapy whenever they tell a joke. But maybe, next time someone tells you they're a comedian don't immediately respond "tell me a joke!" Because you may just be validating an unhealthy belief that a lot of comedians secretly have, that we're only worthwhile when we're making you laugh.