Writing is a weird hobby to have. Some people like to jog, some people like to play instruments, and some people like to read. All of those are hobbies that are easy to do. When you feel like taking part in those hobbies, you just go do them. But it isn’t that easy with writing. Writing is hard. It's fun, it's satisfying, and it's a part of who I am. But it's really hard. This one article per week quota is not something I thought I would have a problem with, but it's so much more difficult than I thought. In the past, I have always written for fun, or when I am inspired, or when I have some emotions that I need to communicate, and writing is the only way I can. Now I am writing for other people to read and enjoy. It's different. There's a lot more pressure when you're writing for other people instead of just for yourself. Every week I go through these stages of writing my articles. These 5 stages can be very brutal at times. The stages come with the days. Weekends don't count because who can focus on the weekends? Certainly not me.
Stage 1. Monday: "I'm going to sit down and write this article today. I'm going to put my mind to it, and it's going to be easy and perfect, and everyone is going to love it!
I sit down at my computer. I start writing about the first thing that comes into my head. I get two paragraphs in, and that's it. I read back over it.
"Oh my God, this is crap. No one is going to read this. I am a failure. I am a joke. No one is going to relate to this."
I start on a different topic. I write two paragraphs. I read back over it.
"You have got to be kidding me? I can't write about this topic! I don't know enough about it. People are going to think I'm uninformed! They'll rip me to shreds!"
This pattern continues up to five times before I finally give up for Monday.
Stage 2. Tuesday: "You know what? It's only Tuesday! I have all week left to write this article. It's not due until Saturday night. There's still plenty of time for me to come up with something good."
Then I proceed to spend all of my free time binge-watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.
"Tomorrow, for sure! I'll definitely come up with something tomorrow."
Stage 3. Wednesday: "Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, I am begging you to send me some inspiration. I know you give me my best inspiration when I'm in the shower, so I am going to take an extra long shower this morning and just wait for you to give me some ideas."
*Crickets.
*Eventually hot water turns to cold water.
"Okay, Jesus, I have to go to work now, but I'm still listening. You can hit me with inspiration any time, Big Guy!"
Stage 4. Thursday: It's getting awfully close to crunch time. I still have no idea what I'm going to write about. I pull up my blank word document and stare at it until my vision goes fuzzy on the edges. I google the word "Inspiration." You would be really surprised (and depressed) by what passes for inspiring these days. Around 3:00 p.m. I begin to contemplate quitting.
"Why do you call yourself a writer?"
I go through the archives of all the articles I have started but never finished. I consider setting my computer on fire. I consider running away to Mexico and changing my name.
Stage 5. Friday: EVERYTHING IN MY HEAD IS IN CAPS LOCK.
"THEY'RE GOING TO FIRE ME. MY FUTURE BOOK IS NEVER GOING TO BE PUBLISHED IF ANYONE FINDS OUT I GOT FIRED FROM THE ODYSSEY. I HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING. EVEN IF IT IS TOTAL CRAP. I HAVE TO WRITE SOMETHING!"
12 p.m. "This is fine. I just won't turn one in this week. I'm sure the editor will text me and scold me, but it's fine. I'll just deal with the guilt of letting everyone down. It's fine. This is fine."
8:00 p.m. I'm sitting on my bed looking at Facebook when it hits me. It feels like someone just dumped a bucket of water on my head. I feverishly pull up my computer and start typing as fast as my fingers can go. When all my thoughts are officially on paper, I read back over it.
"Hey, this isn't crap...This is actually kind of good." I obligate my husband to read the article and assure me it's not crap. I know he would lie even if he thought it was bad, but his approval is still a necessary part of the mental process. I read it up to five more times before I finally submit it.
Stage 6. The article goes live: People begin to give me positive feedback on the article.
"Yes, they like me! I can do this! I'm going to write a book one day and it's going to be a best-seller and I'm going to quit my day job and live on a private yacht."
