Homecoming is a very special time of year when the students celebrate their college for a week and alumni come back to act like they are students again. This usually all culminates into one shit show of a weekend.
Here are the stages of Homecoming:1. Alumni Return
Joyous screeching can be heard all over campus as friends unite and squeal in preparation for their drunken weekend ahead.
2. Alumni/Senior events
There is definitely alcohol and it is definitely school-funded. The school is funding this alcohol-induced bonding in the hopes that it will boost post-graduation placement and alumni donations.
3. The Tailgate
The only real pre-game. Everyone is probably hungover from the night before, but that's nothing a good mimosa can't fix. Did you want hot dogs at 10 am? No? Too bad, here's another beer. Underagers can be seen sipping out of flasks in their jackets and their Grand-Big forcing a cup into their hands.
4. The football game
No one is watching this. No one actually cares about the game. But go Warriors!
5. Court Announcement
Although hella archaic, every homecoming needs a court. Everyone acts like they are surprised at the winner, but no one truly is. The king is always the loudest male. The queen probably stood over your shoulder as she watched to make sure you voted for her.
6. Post-Game
This is a hazy weird place in time. No one is really sure what to do. It is too early to head to the bar, but also not early enough to really do anything. Some showers will be taken, dinner eaten, but mostly you sit in your dorm or hotel room and get a weird mid-afternoon hangover.
7. Getting Ready to go out
This is arguably the best part of going out and made only better by having alumni back. Bros hang out with beers and Four Lokos, while sorority sisters spend hours singing #throwbacks while dancing and contouring. There is guaranteed to be a ton of "getting-ready-this-is-the-best-my-make-up-is-going-to-look-tonight" selfies on snapchat.
8. The First Bar
This is probably still a part of the pre-game. Everyone goes home to their favorite college bar. This is probably referred to "the bar" or "the pub," simply because this is the only one anyone ever needs. An oldie but a goodie.
9. The Club
Alum will not stop buying the current students shots. They remember the struggle that is being a broke college student, and now that they have big kid jobs they can afford to buy shots after shots. Do not feel bad for taking them.
10. The Walk Back
Drunk alum will steal anything. They are trying to relive their college days and they will steal anything that they seem fit. This could be traffic cones in the parking lot, a parking sign, mugs from the bar, or half a lamp post.
11. Sunday morning
This is the time you walk around campus and possibly around the town trying to find lost, sleeping friends, eat brunch, and say your goodbyes.
In the end, homecoming is mostly a shit show, but always a good time. There is a lot of planning, way too much money spent on alcohol, but the worst part is always goodbye.
